Stress is awful, and useful. That was the subject of last week’s conversation.

The strength and force of your reactions to this made me realize something. Our pervasive belief that stress is toxic is harming individuals and workplaces, maybe as much as the damage stress can do if it is rampant and unchecked. 

Please don’t misunderstand me – stress can be damaging. Just like exercise can be damaging – if there is way too much of it or if you “play hurt” or don’t have any coaching or support through it. We need to recognize our own warning signs and get support before we’re injured. 

But stress itself is not inherently toxic. Toxic means that any dose will harm us – and that is exactly what we’ve been taught to believe. As a society we are terrified of stress. So much that, if we’re stressed, we believe we’re doing life wrong. That if someone is causing us stress we have been told they must be the villain in our story. And none of that is true. That belief itself is harming our ability to build the life we want for two reasons.

First, if you believe that the very air you are breathing at work is killing you, you cannot bring your best self. You have to stay defensive, pushing off tasks, telling people why you can’t do what you’ve been asked to do rather than collaborating to find ways to excel. 

Second, we can’t get to the lives we want, the lives we’re working towards and dreaming about, without stress. Because all change is stressful at the neurochemical level. 

So we, as a society and as individuals, need to change our perspective and our language about stress. Go from “stress is toxic” to “stress is a tool.” I have some ideas about how we can do that, and I’m wondering if you do, too. Would you hit reply and let me know?

All my best,

Dr. G

The post If you believe the air you breathe is killing you, you can’t be at your best appeared first on Ask Dr. G.