Heinz, our big brown house pony, is afraid of approximately… everyone. Except Chris and me. If you are not us, congratulations, you are officially terrifying.

Recently, a family friend moved in, which means Heinz has upgraded from mild suspicion to full growl, bark, and lunge mode. It is like living with a furry, four-legged bouncer who does not want anyone on the guest list.

This morning, Chris tried to feed him, but Heinz refused. That is his signature move when stressed. Nothing says “d...