On Monday we went to Tobermory, a fishing village set up by the Scottish Government about two hundred years ago, so it’s not that old. I think they told us why the houses were painted those bright colours, but I can’t remember, and I can’t be arsed to look it up.

What I do know is that Tobermory was the backdrop for a kid’s TV show call Balamory. None of the people on the tour were young enough to remember the show, except for Ryan, the bus driver, so the town wasn’t as big a draw...