Gloria Rising pgs.  93-94

AUTOMATIC LETTER 66

Sunday night

Dear “Jolly Green Giant,”

You are valued all the time but never more so than when I can tell
you about Gloria’s nightmares and know that you will understand. Like in
tonight’s dream the “Other” told Gloria she was going to be a vegetable, so
many times that I’m surprised she didn’t end up in the ground like a vegetable.
We’ve got to cut it out, stop dreaming this frightening, senseless garbage.
A bad dream, something I have to push myself up from, raising my
fists in the air, sitting upright with my eyes wide open. I’m thinking of
the dream again – Gloria had been involved though I’m not sure how – it
had something to do with masks and marbleized people. I remember now.
Gloria’s eyes were covered by a pink mask and she took it off to show me
the other eye that was in the middle of the two eyes – the three eyed marvel
and something painful happened she was thrown into a large box by the
“Other” – close it off now the dream – close it – close it right off, right away!

Same night – Sunday

Hi again,
I became very much afraid earlier tonight and had to leave off – I’m
back now. I’m at the dream where the “Other” threw Gloria in a box –
he found out she had dug up the grave of the little child, Joshua, and she
couldn’t lie anymore – the bolted door – all the nightmare pain flows from
down there – no tears though – quietly the little girl has accepted the fact that she had to take pain to keep the “Other” calm – she always lived with
the knowledge that there were things to be done to keep the peace – the
fact was always there – he expected her not to cry – not to scream – not to
yell – but it’s so awful to step across a threshold and never know what you’re
going to see – you can’t imagine like when white light comes to you and
fragments of the puzzle burns clearer – it takes so much patience – suddenly
I realize I want to cry, really cry but I don’t because tears always seem such
a waste of energy, such an indulgence but there is pain in my heart – one
pain I can’t stand – tears because the little girl is going to be hurt again
very badly this time. I must stop this now – I’m sorry, really sorry to stop
here but I just have to – please try to understand – there have been so many
masks, so many lies, so many trapdoors that made the little girl fall through
darkness and now she’s about to go into a place that will make her lost forever
and I can’t stand this anymore. I have to stop now before it’s too late.
I’m very sorry – please (if you can) help – please.

Gloria’s Helper