Hey all. While I’m attempting to write another novel (my seventeenth), I’ve decided to go back into my files, a mix of digital and written on paper, and look for every short story I’ve ever written to see if I can clean them up and publish them. Since my novels are somewhat serious, ten of which being Christian end times, I figured I’d do something light-hearted.

With that in mind, I remembered one that I started writing back in 2008 when I worked in a library, before I had independently published anything online (I first vanity published with iUniverse for Out of Time in the later part of ’08, KDP wasn’t letting in self-published authors just yet & Smashwords was a couple years later), and it was a story that I really kind of just wanted to make my co-workers laugh. I have this weird sense of humor sometimes, when I’m not an oh-so-serious introvert, and I was thinking of having various characters from the books in the library meet each other in a goofy kind of way, maybe magically, maybe technologically.

The library staff in the story gets mixed up in all sorts of shenanigans from Sam I Am randomly appearing to Nancy Drew investigating the various mysteries of the goings-on in the library to the actual physical card catalog causing book classification anomalies because of Melvil Dewey himself to The Communist Manifesto and The Federalist Papers arguing with each other in the background on the The Shelf of Disputed Ideas. The staff gets everything sorted out at the end of the story-or so they think….

The story’s name is The Library Saga: Guardians of Genre. It’s for adult and YA readers who love whimsical fantasy, libraries, metafiction, and genre mashups, and might appeal to people who like Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett. It’s probably not for everyone, but what is?

Here’s the cover.

This is a ten chapter short story. Thirty pages, 9400 words. Depending on how well this does, I’ll probably make it a series. I will release this first in ebook and paperback and then I’ll make an audiobook.

Will be widely available, instead of just on Amazon, and I’ll also put it on my website bookstore to give away copies for free. If you want a free copy, just let me know.

Here’s a sample from part of chapter 1:

Chapter 1: The Curse of Fictional Convergence

Once upon a time, in a galaxy not so far, far away, there was a once normal public library in Everyday Town, USA. A library assistant, named Bonnie, had somehow held sway over management for years, since she always got herself excused from work by being absent for months at a time. She found her power had limits though, for she was fired one day out of the blue. She came storming out of the offices after her meeting with the Circulation Librarian, and declared for every soul to hear, “Hear me now and listen well,” while what appeared to be menacing clouds gathered above her, “this travesty will not stand! You will all pay and pay dearly you will …”

“Is she turning into Dark Willow from Buffy or something?” whispered a library page to one of the other library assistants.

“Silence You!” roared Bonnie the Witch.

The page disappeared right out of sight, while Bonnie continued, “I curse this place this day. You will experience all fiction in this place, firsthand. No one can hide, for you will pay, for this travesty will not stand!” In a flash of light, Bonnie disappeared.

The boss came out of her office and asked, “What just happened?”

Everyone responded that Bonnie was being her overly dramatic self, since nothing seemed to have happened that day.

The next day, around noon or so, a boy appeared out of nowhere, and said, “I am Sam, Sam I Am. I like green eggs and ham.” Then he turned to ask one of the librarians, “Do you know where I can find some green eggs and ham, ma’am?”

The librarian, muttering to herself, said, “Oh great, Dr. Seuss characters.” Out loud, she replies, “No, Sam I Am, I do not know where you can find green eggs and ham.”

Suddenly, without warning, a man stepped out of the book stacks, and said, “Greetings Sam I Am, I am Hannibal Lecter, and I like fava beans and a nice chianti. However, I could probably try some green eggs and ham, would you like to find some green eggs and ham so we can share?”

“I am Sam, I like green eggs and ham, so sure, let us go and eat some green eggs and ham. Lead the way, Hannibal who likes fava beans a nice chianti.”

“Um, Sam, that would really not be a good idea,” interrupted one of the Reference librarians.

Bonnie’s curse had woven itself into the very air. The fluorescent lights hummed an ominous tune, and Dewey the cat, prowling along the circulation desk, twitched his tail nervously.

Alexandria, the head librarian, hurried in from the archives, arms loaded with overdue notices and a half-finished latte. She froze at the sight of Dr. Seuss’s most famous creation strolling past the graphic novel aisle.

“Excuse me,” she said, blinking hard. “Why do we have a children’s rhyme character asking for lunch alongside a convicted sociopath?”

Sam I Am cheerfully hopped onto a rolling ladder. “Green eggs! Green eggs! Have you any?”

Hannibal adjusted his cufflinks and smiled with polite menace. “I prefer my ham—dare I say—unsullied by chlorophyll. But I’m open to new experiences.”

Alexandria motioned for Nancy Drew, perched high on the mystery shelf, to intervene. Nancy slid down on a rope of book tags and landed gracefully between Sam and Hannibal. “Perhaps this is a misunderstanding,” Nancy suggested. “Sam, Mr. Lecter, why don’t you both wait here while I fetch refreshments from the break room?”

“No refreshments!” Hannibal said, eyeing Nancy’s knotwork. “Just green eggs and ham.”

Sam clapped his hands. “Yes yes yes, let’s find them!”

Meanwhile, in the back stacks, the Arcane Archivist was performing an emergency audit on magical anomalies. She tapped a wand against her clipboard and frowned. “There’s a new flux in the fiction wings. Chapter headings are rearranging themselves, and the spine of Dracula is rattling like it needs seasoning.”

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