We’re continuing our good news/bad news trend this week, and I also want to muse a little on the state of my mental health and how it has affected my writing this fall, but if you’re a paid subscriber, I do have a little treat for you, so be sure you make it to the end!

Let’s start off with some excellent news, shall we? I’ve been able to tolerate my normal amount of fully caffeinated coffee over the past week, which is really fantastic. Oh, pumpkin spice, how I have missed you. And it is now almost cool enough to believe it’s really fall in the Midwest, which I have welcomed with open, sweater-covered arms. Next up, the pumpkin patch!

We’re also closing out Banned Books Week in the US, so if you’ve read a banned book this week, let me know in the comments. I’m currently teaching Hamlet and The Crucible, which both feel apt for very different (and many similar) reasons right now. Also, make sure you do something to honor this week, whether petitioning against book bans in your community or making a donation. I have been doing both for a long time, but might I suggest directing some funds toward the American Library Association? They always do great work.

If you’re not a writer (and maybe even if you are), it might sound weird when I say that my characters talk to me. I have famously taken the stance that, when it comes to writing my books, I just work here. The characters do what they want, and it’s simply my job to get their shenanigans on the page.

(That’s not entirely true, though. Sometimes, I play god and force them to do what’s best for the story, but those parts are always harder to write. It’s almost as if they’re resisting me every step of the way. Jerks.)

Even when I was a little kid, I would have conversations with my characters. In retrospect, this is really embarrassing, especially as those conversations would—as most good ones do—happen in the shower. In the ignorance of my youth, I was completely in my own world and unaware that my family could very likely hear every word. (Though now, my newly-six-year-old son’s constant chatter when he’s alone in his room feels like a genetic feature. My mom is probably reading this right now, nodding and muttering (with good humor), “Yep. Payback’s a bitch.”)

Now, though these conversations do very often still happen in the shower…and in the car…and on a run…and while I’m walking the dog—mostly when my mind is settled and a bit bored—they are largely internal. I say “largely” because sometimes my author and beta-reader friends will get lengthy voice memos from me as I work things out aloud, though often enough I realize I’ve figured something out on my own and delete the voice note before I send it.

But if you’ve been around for a while, you know that I’ve been struggling with my physical health since Not a Strong Enough Word released, which has impacted my mental health, as well. Ryan and Scarlett spoke to me. Loudly. They were so loud, in fact, that even when I wanted to quit writing, I couldn’t. That feeling you get when you’re reading a great book and you desperately want to know how it turns out? Yeah, I had that with them. The same thing has happened with all of my other books—entire chapters typed out on my notes app in bed, a sticky piece of dialogue that came to me on a run, whole plot points worked out in the shower. And, like I said, it’s been that way since I was a kid.

So, here I was, thinking this is just how writing goes. (And this is where I can picture some of you saying, “Oh, you sweet summer child.”) But as it turns out, when your own voice gets too loud in your head, those other character voices get very, very quiet.

At first, it wasn’t noticeable. The characters were still talking to me. I just needed rest, and when I’d rest, then they’d come roaring back the next day or so. That’s fine. It sounds like burnout, which didn’t surprise me after writing two full-length books and a novella and a half, releasing four of those, putting another on submission, all while keeping up my full-time teaching job and my editing side hustles. (When I type it all out like that, it feels obvious that I had a one-way ticket to writer’s block.) And then I booked my own tour for Not a Strong Enough Word where I talked about mental health and burnout and miscarriage like someone who had the answers (ha ha), expecting to come back after these events and write my little heart out.

Reader, that was not the case. Those characters started getting really quiet. Drawing them out took work, to the point where I wasn’t sure if I was cut out for this anymore. It used to be so easy. It was supposed to be the thing I enjoyed, the thing I did just for me. And it was starting to feel like drudgery.

But I signed a book deal! Things were great! And they were—they are!—but my health kept deteriorating. (Again…this should probably have been obvious.) But—and this one’s on me—I didn’t do anything to help myself. I thought I was with the medications and supplements and afternoon walks and knitting projects and summertime with my kids, but I wasn’t really getting to the core of the issue. And those characters zipped their lips, crossed their arms, and glared at me. They weren’t going to budge until I admitted a few things. Namely, that I’ve been pushing myself too hard.

Look. I’m 41 years old. I’m a teacher. I have children. I lived through COVID lockdowns and remote teaching. I’ve experienced burnout before, okay? But not like this. This was Burnout with a side of existential dread. Burnout+. Burnout 2.0, even. Usually, it’s just my brain speaking to me. This time, it was my body.

But, as always, my characters knew best. (Jerks.) After all, I just work here! It’s my job to listen to them. And their silence was speaking volumes: “We aren’t going to move until you start actually taking care of yourself. Pull out of some events. See some new doctors. Quite some of the side hustles. Actually do your PT exercises for that hip that’s been bothering you for a year so you can get back to running. Stop eating fast food every other day. And, for the love of god, drink some water.”

“FINE, YOU JERKS,” I screamed, and then did all those things. In fact, I one-upped them and also changed my diet and started meditating every day again. SO THERE.

And you know what? I’m feeling better. My anxiety is still high (but, I mean, whose isn’t?), but everything feels manageable. My body feels better than it has in years, since well before all of this started. (Yes, this is probably a sign that I should have been listening to it way before this. I get it now.) And, best of all, [redacted] and [redacted] are talking to me again. 2,000 words just flew out of me this weekend in a couple of hours. We’re back, baby.

If you need a sign to slow down and take care of yourself, this is it. Don’t be me! Listen to those voices telling you to take a step back. It’s okay. It’ll all still be here for you when you’re ready.

We’re switching up the order this week so I can tell you about two amazing new books you HAVE to check out this week before I update you on some things and give my paid tier a little treat.

Jenna Laing has always been what the people of Crowmorne call ‘a bit strange’. As a child, she was drawn to the spooky and the scary, and as an adult, she’s no different.

When the mysterious and long abandoned Miller Mansion re-opens as a Halloween haunted house, Jenna buys tickets in a heartbeat, and invites a first date, hoping he’ll share her love of horror and jumpscares.

Those hopes come crashing to the ground when he panics and runs off screaming, leaving her injured and in the hands of scare actor, Mason Miller.

Mason never expected to inherit a mansion, or the eye-watering bills that came along with it. His haunt is a quick way to make money, but Jenna might be the most unexpected surprise of all.

One look at her is all it takes to fall hard, then even harder when he discovers they share similar tastes both in and out of the bedroom.

And since Mason is an expert in designing experiences that make people feel something, this Halloween he’ll guarantee Jenna finally has a man to match her freak.

Read Now

Florence Sadler is fed up. Behind her quirky, wild-child exterior, she cares deeply, feels everything, and is desperate to get out from under the shadows of her three older brothers to find her passion in life. After months of fruitless job hunting, she’s at the end of her tether. Then, an unlikely solution to all her problems blindsides her when her brother’s best friend offers her a job and a place to live. If only she could forget the mind-blowing evening they shared. Impossible, especially when her new boss makes it his mission to reignite her lost spark.

Dexter Moore has it all: a home, a successful business, loyal friends, and a loving family. The only thing missing is someone to share it with, a reality Dex accepted long ago. But when Florence struts into his life, a beacon of light he didn’t know he was searching for, he’s suddenly rethinking every decision he’s ever made. Torn between his head and his heart, Dex is powerless to resist the pull they’ve both fought for months.

Hot summer afternoons and balmy starlit evenings drive Florence and Dex closer together, and “one night” becomes the first of many. Their magnetism is undeniable, but will untold fears and decade-old vows end their future before it even begins?

Our Long Days is the final book in the Sutton Bay series. A series of interconnected standalone stories set in coastal New England, with lots of feelings, swoon and spice!

Read Now

All of this is to say that I have had to take a hard look at my schedule this year. I had planned to do a fall witchy release, and that got postponed because of my new publishing schedule. I had planned to do this serial Christmas novella, too, and if this were last year, I would have absolutely been able to do it. But because I am really trying to listen to my body and my limits, I am going to have to postpone that, as well. The good news is that Christmas comes around every 365 days, so I’ll have another shot at it next year, but if I don’t focus, this next books will never get written. And it needs to. Because I have a contract now.

Maybe a spring or summer serial novella? When I get my health back where I want it and have a better handle on this new trad publishing world I’m entering into.

I’m so sorry. I know this will be disappointing to some of you. BUT I have also realized that (on accident), I’ve been neglecting my paid newsletter subscribers since this all started. And I am very sorry for that, as well.

So I am working on a content calendar that includes this newsletter. I will have at least one thing per month (hopefully two!) for paid subscribers only from here on out. Sometimes those will be early peeks at artwork, maybe a few exclusive bonus chapters or short stories. If there’s something you want to see, please let me know in the comments!

Read more