(Nimue)

This is a recent photo of Keith and myself on Rodborough common – a hilltop near our home. It was the first time I’d tried walking up there since the vision loss. I can’t make much sense of the ground – I see little detail and have no depth perception. On the flat I manage pretty well, but on uneven walks I need my stick, Keith’s arm and a lot of verbal guidance. He’s very good at talking the terrain as we go, translating the shape of the hill into useful information. Walking like this isn’t easy, but it is possible.

I can no longer see much of the landscape. My distance vision is very poor, but enough to give me the shape of the hills. As I know this land well, I don’t need a lot of prompts to know where I am. I often navigate from memory.

Moing through the landscape means feeling the shape of it. I can hear flowing water, birds, wind in trees. I can smell fallen apples and late flowers. I’m using my other senses as much as I can. I’m also drawing a lot on memory. I benefit in so many ways from the treasure stored up in previous years. Sometimes I can help Keith identify plants simply because I know what’s grown somewhere in the past.

I find intense joy being out on the land even with all the challenges. Moving, feeling and being present are powerful experiences. I’m missing a lot of the beauty of the world, but remain alert to everything I can experience. The trick, I am learning, is to find workarounds whenever possible, and to make the most of what I have.