At Ann R Allen’s blog, a wonderful companion to this recent post about the top ten ways to begin a novel — 12 ways NOT to start a novel.

All that first draft scribbling usually doesn’t have much to do with the final product. When we first start a novel, we’re not thinking about our readers; we’re telling the story to ourselves. All kinds of information will come up, but be aware you’ll want to cut most of it or move it to another part of the book when you edit. … And when it comes to that editing — the first chapter presents your biggest challenge. I’ve often spent more time on a first chapter than the entire remainder of the book.

Gosh, I’m taking a moment to appreciate the fact that I generally do almost no revision of the first chapter.

On the opening page, we have only a few lines to grab the reader and keep her from putting the book back on the shelf. We have to present an exciting hook and fascinating characters that will suck readers in immediately — but not overwhelm them with too much information.

Then, as promised, twelve (brief) suggestions of things to avoid. It was a dark and stormy night.

Fine, this is the same-old-same-old, or a lot of it is. Don’t start with a character waking up. Yes, yes, we know, that’s normally boring, except when it isn’t. The book I linked to, without naming, in my post about Top Ten Ways to Open a Novel, was The Breach by Patrick Lee. The character wakes up in the morning and it’s quite hooky. I don’t know of a lot of thriller writers better than Lee.

Oh, here’s one that’s more interesting:

Slush readers say a huge number of manuscripts — especially memoirs — start with the protagonist in a state of bereavement. But most readers aren’t eager to embark on a literary journey with a miserable MC.

A huge number of manuscripts start with bereavement? I guess I can see that in memoir, but ugh. You know, if you’re a student in an English Comp class, don’t write and essay about the death of a child (or a pet). Yes, that incident has high emotional impact. No, your instructor does not want to read that.

I see Allen is advising against killing the initial pov character. Good. I really dislike that, though I tolerate it in murder mysteries.

Starting with the conditional perfect may seem clever to you, but unfortunately it does to a lot of other writers, too. This is cliché territory — don’t go there.

Fine, but you know what, The Twisted Ones by T Kingfisher pretty much starts this way, and it works fine. “I am going to try to start at the beginning, even though I know you won’t believe me. It’s okay. I wouldn’t believe me either. Everything I have to say sounds completely barking mad. I’ve run through it in my mind over and over, trying to find a way to turn it around so that it all sounds quite normal and sensible, and of course there isn’t one.”

The other thing Kingfisher does here that’s clever is — in the frame story, she promises the reader that the dog doesn’t die. That’s not just clever, it’s crucial.

Anyway, I do get tired of posts — even by Ann R Allen — saying don’t do this, don’t do that. I always wish they would say, “Unless you’re as good as Patrick Lee and then sure, do it, it’s fine.”

Oh, here’s one:

Don’t overwhelm your reader with too many characters right off the bat. It’s like meeting a bunch of people at a cocktail party: you don’t remember anybody’s name if you hear too many at once.

I have to reluctantly agree that I’m on board with this one. It’s just so hard to handle a crowd in the first place, and worse, EVEN IF YOU ARE A STELLAR writer and do an ASTOUNDINGLY good job with your crowd in the opening scene, a whole bunch of readers will get lost in the crowd and stop reading. I’m one of those readers. Every now and then, I’ve picked up a series novel where, I assume, most readers know the characters and therefore aren’t lost when twelve of them are on stage in the opening scene. But I am totally lost. I’m not that great with names anyway. Who is this again? Wait, is she part of a couple? Can you remind me who her significant other might be? Never mind, I have forgotten and also I don’t even care, bye.

I would add: Don’t name all the scenery in creation either. Don’t say, “Well, Ghestitak, here we are on the Tavan Cliffs on the border of Senestral, watching the Three Moons rise over the remnants of the Yatarian Fleet, and where is Panab? I thought he was supposed to be here at third moon rise.” Just mention the cliffs and the three moons and let the names of all the specific bits of scenery wait for later. That’s what I suggest.

Oh, I certainly like the way Allen winds up her post:

Writing gurus keep telling us to start a novel with action, action, action, but this isn’t actually such good advice. There’s such a thing as too much action. Action isn’t the same as conflict. We need to be emotionally engaged with a character before we care how many dragoons of doom he slays. The fact that somebody stole his magic sword on the way to the battle may create more emotional conflict than the actual slaying.

What she said! Absolutely! I’m really starting to hate the advice to start in media res. No no! Do not start in media res! We have to have context!

Which isn’t to say: Don’t start with action. It’s fine to start with action, if you’re also providing context as you go. It’s just hard for the author to do that and hard for the reader to keep up. So I’m actually right with Ann R Allen on this one: Don’t start with TOO MUCH action to the detriment of character and context.

Click through if you like, and check out the rest of her post. I will say, and I think this is important, cliches bother agents more than they bother readers. Agents are the ones reading through thousands of iterations of badly done protagonist-wakes-up openings. Normal readers don’t get bored with stuff nearly as easily as agents, editors, and publishers think they do — that’s my opinion. I wouldn’t hesitate to start a novel with ANY of the types of openings that Allen calls cliched. I would plan to do it well and make it work, that’s all.

The post 12 Ways Not To Start a Novel appeared first on Rachel Neumeier.