Notes: Oh my goodness, we're...at the end. The end of Hadrian's Colony. Not the end of our guys' story, nowhere close, but over seventy thousand words later, here we are. This was a rough go for our lovers, and the ending isn't a firmly happy resolution in all respects, but I feel confident in their ability to weather whatever comes next. 

And there's a lot coming, and soon. But not immediately! My brain needs a break, so I'll be doing a short story/novella in another genre entirely next, then revisiting these gents after that. Thank you all for reading and sticking it out with me! Life is challenging for a lot of us right now, but you give me something to look forward to every week.

Title: Hadrian's Colony: Epilogue: Elanus POV

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Hadrian’s Colony: Epilogue: Elanus POV

Photo by Sebastian Brito 

Nothing happened fast on a Drifter ship. Technologically andculturally speaking, speed wasn’t a thing for them. Their lives were measuredin milestones—another hydroponic crop harvested, another trade deal made,another piece of their massive ship salvaged or decommissioned. They had loose schedulesfor everything from maintenance to health services, which was one of thereasons Elanus was so confident he could improve their systems. It wasn’t hardwhen half the damage was self-inflicted thanks to ignoring component wear andtear until it failed. He promised them results—in hydro-storage and recycling,in heating and cooling, and in diagnostics, and he was going to damn welldeliver.

And what he asked for in return? A level of speed that had theFather—the head—of the ship ready to tear his hair out.

“We can’t source a ship that fast!”

“They’re already sourced,” Elanus replied absently as he tweakedthe program Catie was putting together for hull integrity diagnostics. One moresensor in this area would be easy to manufacture, and it would cover an entirekilometer of ship that was currently underperforming but would soon be supportingtemperature differentials. “You have three in storage.”

Daniel Hammersmith scowled at him. “You shouldn’t have thatinformation. Have you been scanning our ship? Because that goes against theagreement you made when you came on board.”

Elanus didn’t resist the urge to scoff. “I didn’t have toscan anything,” he said. “The families who own those ships came to my peoplewithin the hour of us arriving, all looking to make a private deal.”

Hammerhelm’s expression darkened even further. “They don’t havethe authority to make deals with outsiders unless I say they can.”

“Which is why I haven’t said yes to any of them,” Elanusreplied. “But I will have one of those ships, Father Daniel, and I’llhave it without you dragging my stay here out and getting more concessions fromme for using your precious resources, like I haven’t already repaid you fiftytimes over with the improvements I’m making for you.” He raised his eyes fromthe screen to look evenly at the Drifter, who looked away after just a second.

“Fine. But fuel is extra.”

Elanus smiled. “Of course it is.”

The truth was, he didn’t care that fuel would cost more. Hedidn’t care if it cost him as much as everything else they’d paid already,because fueling the ship they ended up with was the key to getting rid ofCarlisle, and getting rid of Carlisle was key to getting Kieron back on an evenkeel.

You had to know him to know how he was being affected by hismother’s continual distance. After Catie’s Regen capacity was refreshed andKieron broke out of the depression he’d been held in since the rescue, he’dacted almost normal. They’d been on Pinnace for a week and he’d beengood for all of it—attentive to the kids, Pol included; conversing with Xilinnand Ryu about what had happened while they’d been separated; sticking close toElanus when he could and showing him how much he cared in the small, sweet waysElanus would freely admit he was addicted to.

It didn’t matter that so much of their early relationshipwas lost to Kieron’s traumatic brain injury; he still held Elanus’s handwhenever they were together for more than thirty seconds. He still laid hispalm on his lower back when they walked, the easiest place for him to reachgiven that Elanus was more than a foot and a half taller than his fiancé. Whenthey slept together—in a bed in guest apartments on Pinnace, which was anice bit of privacy for all involved after months in close quarters with Catie—hepulled Elanus’s head onto his chest without a second thought. The love wasever-present, demonstrated in big and small ways, and Elanus was confident thathe knew as much about how Kieron showed his emotions as Kieron himself didthese days.

Which was how he knew the damage with Carlisle went deep. Kieronwasn’t extra sensitive to it because of his injuries, and Carlisle wasn’t extrasolicitous of him because of them either. Despite their inability to speak withone another about anything of import, their actions spoke volumes.

Carlisle was quiet, avoidant, and cold. Kieron was quiet,persistent, and cracking under the weight of her disregard more and more everyday.

That was why she had to go, before she broke something shehad no right to anymore. She knew it, she agreed with Elanus, and aslong as he got her a ship she could fly and gave her access to enough creditsto do whatever the fuck she wanted, they were clear as far as he was concerned.

It didn’t take long. One conversation wrought a quickinspection of all three ships, Carlisle included in  the process because she was the one who wouldhave to fly the damn thing, and then the trade was made. The ship was stocked,Carlisle was checked one last time and given a clean bill of health, and then…

She left. There was no elaborate goodbye, no heartfelt hugsand promises to meet again in the future. She simply said, “I’ll go, then,” andshook everyone’s hands. Kieron was the only one who got a double hand clasp, andfor a second there, as their eyes met, Elanus thought they might have abreakthrough.

But no—Carlisle broke contact first, nodded at Elanus, thenwalked into her refurbished ship. Five minutes later, she was gone, heading forthe closest space lane to do some exploring in the Fringe.

An hour later, Elanus found Kieron in one of the many smallobservatories, breaks in the outer hull that had been transformed into lookingstations with plastisteel and forcefields. It was cold there, very cold—thispart of the ship wasn’t well insulated, and when Elanus kissed the top ofKieron’s head as he wrapped him in an embrace, his skin was icy.

He needed to say something, break through the discomfortsomehow, but…

“I don’t know whether I should feel happy or not with how it’sall ended.”

Huh, looked like Kieron was going to do the heavy lifting,then. As usual. “You feel how you feel,” Elanus said, not-very-usefully in hisopinion, but what else could he say? “You can acknowledge something is for thebest without being happy about it.”

“Is that what you think? That her leaving is for the best?”

“Yes.” There was no doubt in his mind. “For both of you. She’sbeen little better than a slave to a complete madman for most of her life,Kieron. Someone who controlled her every move, who had unreachable expectationsof her.”

Kieron flinched. “Do you think I treated her like that? Withunreasonable expectations, I mean?”

No, fuck that. “Honey,” Elanus said in what he hopedwas a level tone, “You didn’t have any expectations of her, from what Icould see. Or if you did, they were minimal at best. And I think that’s part ofwhy it’s better that she left. Not just for her sake, so she can learn about a universethat’s so much bigger than what she’s used to, but so you can figure out howyou feel without the pressure of being so careful around her. It’s breathingroom, baby. Just some breathing room. It’s not forever.”

I won’t let it be forever.

“Besides,” he went on, “I don’t think Carlisle has quite theright skillset for our next adventure.”

“I don’t know,” Kieron said in a lighter tone than Elanuswas expecting. “It might be nice to have a highly trained mercenary on our sidewhen we try to infiltrate Trakta.”

“Ha,” Elanus muttered. “Goes to show what you know aboutinfiltrating xenophobic, religious-right, neo-fascistic societies. You don’tmake headway in a place like that with guns.”

“So how are we going to do it, then?”

Elanus kissed the top of Kieron’s head. “With the weight of mycharming personality, of course. And a lot of credits.”

Elanus had them to spare, after all, and Trakta was incrediblymoney-hungry now that it had seceded from the Central System. He knew exactlywhat buttons to push to get access to the planet, and once he was there, he’d greasethe right palms and set things up to get Xilinn’s kids back.

Easy. They were due something being easy for oncein the past few years, and this was going to be it. It was.

It had to be.