Here’s the latest Longtreader Games update from Zach Franzen about the Green Ember: Helmer in the Dragon Tomb video game!

It’s dark outside. Rain clacks on the window pane like fingers on controller buttons. I’m playing Green Ember: Helmer in the Dragon Tomb, and I’m dealing death to my enemies one vegetable at a time.

Toothy bat? Carrot to the noggin.
Hunch-backed feral rabbit? TKO’d by turnips!

This vegetable-throwing feature honors the maxim “everything is a weapon.” And, I must admit, defeating enemies with vegetables feels deeply right. Don’t know why. It’s like hitting a perfect golf drive—you feel it in your bones.

You can watch my delight unfold here:

But the pleasure is hard to place. It’s like a distant memory, the melody from a childhood music box, or the scent of your grandfather’s coat.

Where have I seen carrots used as a weapon? The question gnaws at me. I search my hard drive for clues and uncover a text message to Sam from April 8th, 2022. It features a ludicrous drawing of a rabbit throwing carrots labeled “Bartleby the Carrot Assassin.”

The drawing was to illustrate a faster drawing style using Bartleby the Carrot Assassin as an example. Obviously, he’s not a real character … or is he? Perhaps he lives through Helmer’s carrot antics.

If any of you play our demo, after playing it the proper way, consider going to the beginning and playing it the Bartleby way — how far can you go using only thrown objects like vegetables, rocks, or crockery? For those of you brave enough to try, be sure to send an email and let me know your progress.

Steam NextFest is a place with 1000+ upcoming games and demos. If you haven’t yet downloaded our demo, now would be a good time (it also juices the algorithm and gives us greater visibility). We’re in the final stretch before release. Be sure to stay tuned.

“Au revoir!” or as Bartleby would say:

This is the number one way to support Longtreader games right now. Wishlisting tells Steam that people are interested in family-friendly games with a beginning, middle, and an end.

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