I’m Dr. Claudia Six, a sexologist who’s spent over three decades sitting with the tender truths of couples and individuals as they unravel the knots of their sexual lives. Too often, I hear the lament: “Our sex life is broken.”

But let me tell you a secret: sexual problems are rarely about sex itself.

They’re about the silent scripts we carry—those insidious beliefs, 10 or 12 of them, all variations on the theme of “I’m not good enough.” These internal narratives, like shadows in the bedroom, shape how we show up, or fail to, in the dance of intimacy.

Consider this: a woman, let’s call her Anna, lies beside her partner, silent, her needs unspoken. Her script? “I have no voice; there’s no room for me.” She feels invisible, her pleasure a ghost in the sheets. Or a man, like David, who believes, “I’m not desirable enough,” so he performs, eyes averted, chasing approval instead of connection.

These are not isolated thoughts but a chorus: “I’m not sexy enough,” “I’m too broken,” “My needs don’t matter,” “I’ll be judged,” “I’m too much,” “I’m not enough,” each a riff on inadequacy, stifling desire before it can breathe.

These faulty beliefs develop in infancy, sometimes in the preverbal stage. They’re part of our emotional fingerprint and predate our current relationship. They aren’t just thoughts; they’re barriers. They keep us from showing up authentically, from saying, “This is what I long for”.

It’s not about new positions or toys; it’s about rewriting the story. Take Anna: we explored her belief, “My needs are a burden.” Your pleasure isn’t a luxury; it was a birthright.

Recognizing these scripts shifts everything. In 2025, 60% of couples cite disconnection as their core issue.

Unraveling takes courage—but it’s transformative. Imagine David, once paralyzed by “I’m not enough,” now meeting his partner’s gaze, saying, “I want us to explore together.” The bedroom becomes a sanctuary, not a stage.

So, pause tonight. Ask: What script holds me back? Name it, share it, and watch authenticity rewrite your intimacy. You are enough—exactly as you are.

Ready to rewrite your scripts? Schedule a free consultation: https://drsix.net/services/coaching-or-counseling-sessions/

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