Humans are Weird - On Again Off Again  Taps-a-lot hummed happily to himself as he set the large flat rock carefully back in its place and gently released the little amphibian that tasted of confidence and irritation back to squirm under it. Above him the sound of Human Friend Ryan singing an accompaniment drifted down through the water of the straight. Tabps-a-lot took a final image of the amphibian’s micro-habitat, with the dense algae poking out of every nook and cranny, then pushed off the rock he was resting on and swam out over the deep crevice that formed the center of the narrow strip of water between the hard granite walls.
“...would you rather swing on a star? Carry moonbeams home in a jar?”
“And be better off than you are?” Taps-a-lot called back.
Ryan tried to keep a straight face but after several long moments of the colors on his face flashing with his internal struggle he burst out laughing and the stripes on his face glowed with delight.
“You are doing great Taps!” Human Friend Ryan assured him. “Your rhythm is perfect!”
“And my articulation and emotional tone?” Taps-a-lot pressed as he swam up and came to rest on the transport that floated conveniently a third of an und below the surface of the water.
Human Friend Ryan paused with his lips peeled back to reveal his only protruding bone structure for a long moment before laughing.
“Your rhythm is perfect!” Human Friend Ryan said again. “Now it is break time and it turns out that these so called waterproof boots weren’t after all.”
“That is odd,” Taps-a-lot said, nudging the flexible shields the human wore to protect the soft flesh of his feet. “They are very much praised by other humans for prolonged times of work in the narrows. All said their tootsies were toasties.”
“You probably don’t want to use that phrase in casual conversation with adults,” Human Friend Ryan pointed out as he shifted his mass to guide the transport down the narrows towards where they had left the excess of their tools. “Tootsies were toasties. That is considered baby-talk.”
“It was in official documentation,” Taps-a-lot pointed out.
“Product reviews have very different grammar standards than academic sources,” Human Friend Ryan replied as they glided up to their pile of tools. “There is even an incentive to be funny so folks are entertained by your reviews. Because outright lying would be counterproductive, using humorously inappropriate language is a frequent occurrence.”
Human Friend Ryan guided the transport right up against the edge of the narrows, then let it sink down just far enough that he could sit comfortably on the bank. Taps-a-lot checked that their samples from the day were secure in their isolation cages and then scrambled up the humans legs and back out into the grip of gravity, unalloyed by the welcoming embrace of the water. Human Friend Ryan then rotated the rest of his body up and out of the water and walked over to the rock he used as a sitting surface. Taps-a-lot saw that the shielding, the ‘boots’ were releasing water with every step.
“I hope your tootsies were not abraded due to water exposure,” Taps-a-lot said, feeling a wriggle of delight when Human Friend Ryan gave him the ‘side-eye’ humans were so famous for.
“My tootsies are not,” Human Friend Ryan confirmed as he peeled off the boots and gave them each a vigorous shake to get the water off of them. “I was wearing socks, just in case.”
“I sound that perhaps you aligned the straps incorrectly,” Taps-a-lot pointed out helpfully. “The instructions said that the thinner straps must wrap-”
“Over tab B and into slot A, yes, yes,” Human Friend Ryan muttered as he peeled off his socks, a soft, protective layer to prevent abrasion and retain warmth, and wrung the water out of them. “Now, snacks for me and rest for you.”
Taps-a-lot felt no need to argue the point and happily scrambled up beside Human Friend Ryan to rest in the sunlight and maybe absorb a few dropped crumbs. Of course if he asked Human Friend Ryan would give him a whole snack of his own, but the dry travel snacks the humans seemed to prefer were best absorbed in small quantities when on the land. Once Human Friend Ryan was thoroughly rested and snacked he stood up and gave a long stretch. Taps-a-lot mimicked the gesture. Human Friend Ryan’s face lit with a smile, and then darkened with genuine distress as the human looked at his socks on the rock beside him.
“What wrong?” Taps-a-lot asked in concern, shuffling over to examine the socks.
“I forgot to bring a spare pair of socks,” Human Friend Ryan said, a deep groaning sound in his voice and colors of stress washing over his stripes.
“Why that a concern?” Taps-a-lot asked, nudging the socks with his gripping appendage. “These dry.”
“Remember your helping verbs Taps,” Human Friend Ryan said with a sigh as he bent to pick up the socks. “They might be dry, but they’re crusty now.”
“Crusty is?” Taps-a-lot asked.
“If you don’t mind touching my crusty socks feel for yourself,” Human Friend Ryan said, holding out a sock.
“I feel,” Taps-a-lot agreed as he turned the sock over in his appendages. “It does have a different feel than in the before time when I felt it.”
Human Friend Ryan took the sock and as he slid it over his bare foot his skin flushed with disgust.
“This is more unpleasant than when you were standing in water for several hours?” Taps-a-lot asked.
“No?” Human Friend Ryan said as he put both socked feet into his boots, this time being careful to attach the straps carefully.
“You are not confident, that was a state of being verb, not a helping verb,” Taps-a-lot pointed out.
Human Friend Ryan snorted with laughter and his colors started to even out.
“It’s not worse than before,” Human Friend Ryan said, “but before I was used to it. Once you aren’t used to crusty socks, or wet socks, it’s way worse putting them on than keeping them on.”
Taps-a-lot sounded those thoughts out as they moved back towards the water.


Author Betty Adams Books
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