Speaking With Care

In this issue:

Caring SpeechZen of Coaching: Course for Executive CoachesTassajara Retreat/Workshop, 8/26, A Few OpeningsDharma Talk At Green Gulch, 8/24

Sad, unsettling, and sometimes horrifying that we are all receiving a masterclass in the opposite of “Right Speech” from our president.

The classic definition of Right Speech is to speak truthfully, not creating harm or speaking cruelly, not exaggerating or embellishing, and speaking in a way that relieves suffering and brings people back to themselves.

One of the amazing aspects of business and work is the way in which we all bring our communication styles, often including our childhood habits, patterns, strengths, and weaknesses into the workplace. Businesses often spend a good deal of time creating systems in an attempt to root out or change these individual behaviors, but we are all human beings with established ways of communicating and responding. It’s easy to underestimate the power that our words have. Thus the importance of the practice of right speech or what I like to call caring speech.

Speaking Truthfully

Saying what you know to be true and not saying what you know to be untrue is a powerful practice, and more difficult than it might sound. When we speak truthfully we become more trustworthy and people around us feel more connected and safe.

Not Creating Harm

Our words have the power to cause tremendous harm or significant healing. I’ve seen much pain caused in the work environment by people not being careful with speech and underestimating the power of words. I have noticed, as a manager and especially as “the boss,” that my words, particularly how I express my displeasure, can have a tremendous impact. I have learned the importance of giving great care to where, when, and how I express my insights regarding performance or behaviors that need to be changed or improved.

Not Exaggerating

So often in business, people describe situations and outcomes in ways that make themselves or their projects appear more successful or more certain then they really are. I have also noticed that people sometimes make tasks appear more difficult and complicated then they actually are as a way to protect themselves from criticism or from being given additional work. The word spin, meaning to put a positive — or negative — light on a situation, has recently been in vogue. Spin is just a euphemism for exaggeration.

Relieving Suffering

Our speech has the potential to provide comfort, positive challenge, and transformation in our work environment. By speaking clearly and directly from our hearts, we can touch the people around us and turn suffering into acceptance and joy. Just listening fully to others is often enough to relieve suffering. This requires stopping and just being with another person, in whatever state they are in.

Right speech means being present and meeting each person and each situation directly. Since each person has different communication and listening styles, right speech is the practice of speaking to each person in a way that best reaches and affects that person in each situation, while at the same time being true to yourself.

Practices:

· Explore noticing how you speak to others and how others speak to you. Just notice.

· Notice how your speech varies with whomever you are speaking — someone whom you report to, who reports to you, a family member.

· Experiment by speaking directly and openly.

· Take risks with your words by speaking openly from your heart.

Zen of Coaching: For Executive Coaches: Transforming Others, Becoming Your Best Self, Changing The World

An online course, beginning October 24th

Coaching is a way of helping others find the deepest places of their hearts.

Program Overview

Zen of Coaching is a transformational program for executive coaches and leaders who want to deepen their presence, expand their impact, and build a coaching practice rooted in wisdom, not just performance. Blending Zen principles, mindfulness, and real-world leadership experience, this course—created by Marc Lesser, the Zen teacher and CEO who helped bring mindful leadership to Google—supports you in cultivating stillness, navigating complexity, and coaching with greater authenticity, clarity, and purpose.

To register and for more information.

Tassajara Workshop/Retreat August 26 – 31

There are a few new openings to this retreat. Last opportunity this year to visit Tassajara – a practice community off the grid, beautiful setting, hiking, hot springs, and great food.

In our world of busyness, of more, faster, better, this retreat offers time to stop, reflect, and renew—a time to step fully into the richness of your life. Together we’ll follow a gentle schedule of sitting and walking meditation, interspersed with talks and discussions from the wisdom of Zen teaching as we explore how these stories and dialogues may be utilized in our relationships, our work, and our lives.

This retreat is open to everyone interested in stopping, exploring, and bringing more awareness and mindfulness to daily life.

Dharma Talk, Green Gulch Farm, Sunday, August 24th

I’ll be giving the public talk, in-person and online at 10:00 a.m. PT on Sunday morning, August 24th.

Warmest regards,

Marc

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