I’m told that there are people out there who still haven’t finished their holiday shopping. It’s November, y’all! You must be frantic at this point, so here’s my well-intentioned effort to help get your life back on track.

Readers require little from life, and those needs with which they are burdened may be easily met with a small amount of thought and consideration. When next you find cause to provide some token of affection to a Reader, you may wish to consider one or more of the following sugg...