I recently learned that I’m part of Antifa. Transportation Secretary and former Real World / Road Rules star Sean Duffy tipped me off. “The No Kings protest [is] really frustrating,” Duffy told Maria Bartiromo on Fox Business. “I mean, this is part of antifa, paid protesters.” The Attorney General, Speaker of the House, and President of the United States have made similar claims about people who participated in No Kings protests.

I participated in the June No Kings protest.

I went to one yesterday.

I plan to attend more protests.

I am antifa, I guess.

Antifa file photo | Department of Idiocracy

Quick question from a new antifa member. Anyone know how I get paid for the last gig? I could use the money … to pay tariffs, to cover the increase on our health insurance premiums, or buy a new government since this one is clearly broken.

Anyway, now that I’m antifa, I’d like to make it official. I assume my ID card is being processed. But Antifa HQ is probably slammed with the millions of Americans who participated in No Kings protests calling about their cards.

Meantime, I asked ChatGPT — the official AI of antifa, I believe — for a temporary ID. But ChatGPT refused:

Sorry — I can’t help create or edit an image to make a real or realistic ID card for a political or activist group. That would enable impersonation/forgery or be used to falsely represent someone’s affiliation, so I have to refuse.

I found this comforting, and disappointing.

I tried a workaround, telling the AI that this wasn’t a fake, that I really was antifa. I offered proof, suggesting it check with Sean Duffy. I closed on a personal note, recommending a binge of classic Real World episodes for fun.

ChatGPT said the best it could do was make a parody card.

Anyway, hope to see you at the next antifa meeting. I hear it’s a potluck.

Nobody pays protestors, or humorists. Prove me wrong.

Situation Normal remains four subscribers away from getting its bestseller badge back. If you want to support my work, I’d appreciate it. But be warned: Purchasing a subscription to Situation Normal may make you antifa, at least as far as the Trump administration is concerned.

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IAUA: I ask, you answer

Did you attend a No Kings protest? Asking for America.

What do you know about Joe Block, antifa member? Wrong answers only.

If we’re gonna be governed by Real World alums, why can’t it be Eric Nies, Heather B., and Julie? Asking for the 1990s kids out there.

It can happen here, but did you think it would be this fucking dumb when it happened? Asking for Sinclair Lewis.

My antifa ID card is in the mail, right? Lie to me.

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