Do Memoir Ghostwriters Write Their Own Memoirs
This post was written by Robin Storey.
Yesterday I was asked, ‘Do memoir ghostwriters write their own memoirs?’.
It’s in the same vein as ‘Do mechanics service their own cars?’ or ‘Do doctors diagnose their own illnesses?’
To the first question, I can’t answer for other ghostwriters, but for myself, the answer is, happily, ‘yes.’
I say happily, because I think writing their own memoir gives a ghostwriter a good insight into what the process is like for the client whose memoir they’re writing.
For instance, when writing your memoir, you discover that:
Sometimes, there are events in your life that you could swear happened, or people who said or did things stand out clearly in your memory.
Yet when you dig deeper, you find out that your memory has played tricks on you.
This is particularly the case with events or people from long ago, because your memories get overlaid by other memories, and can be distorted by the emotions you were feeling at the time.
If you’re talking about real-life events from the past, particularly in a historical context, it’s a good idea to make sure you have the correct facts.
Where possible, I always check the historical facts that clients give me, because it’s amazing how often they are mistaken about a particular world event.
You May Experience Strong EmotionsThis is probably inevitable when you are writing about distressing events in your life.
No matter how much therapy you’ve done or how well you think you’ve come to terms with them, there are often events in your life that continue to make you sad/angry/frustrated when you think about them.
The good news is, this will add to the authenticity of your writing, as long as you don’t go overboard and spill everything out as if you were on the psychiatrist’s couch.
One of my clients, Bob, who served in New Guinea in WW11, told me about a little dog that had come out of nowhere while he was there and befriended him, following him everywhere and sleeping with him at night.
At the end of the war, when it was time for Bob to be repatriated to Australia, the dog had to be euthanised, as it wasn’t allowed on board the ship.
Over 70 years later, as Bob was telling me this story, tears were rolling down his cheeks.
If you’re writing about trauma – for example, domestic violence or sexual abuse – it’s a good idea to have some distance from it before writing about it.
You need time, often years, to process the emotions, and ideally, to have therapy to help you learn to manage them.
If you find yourself becoming distressed while writing about your trauma, it’s best to stop, get help and give yourself more time.
On the other hand, writing about your emotions can be cathartic. While writing my memoir Making the Breast of It, about my diagnosis and treatment of breast cancer, I found that writing about my fear of death in a humorous way helped me to deal with it, and entertained the reader as well.
It's Important To Be AuthenticObviously, you want the reader to enjoy your memoir. And you also want to connect with them, to communicate an idea or theme to them and hopefully, make an impact on them in some way.
The most effective way to do this is to be authentic. In other words, be yourself – warts and all.
Don’t hide your flaws or try to make excuses for your less-than-ideal behaviour. The reader will see straight through it, because we all know there is not one perfect human on this planet, and it will turn them off.
We relate to people who are honest and open about their weaknesses, because we can see parallels in ourselves.
So we’re much more likely to trust them, feel connected to them, and take on board what they’re telling us.
This doesn’t mean you have to be self-effacing, though. That’s just as irritating. You can give yourself credit where it’s deserved.
A well-written memoir will reveal how you’ve changed and grown as a result of your experiences, which may include how you’ve learned to overcome or manage your character flaws – very inspiring for those readers who share those flaws.
Being authentic also means writing in your own voice. In other words, write how you speak, don’t try to write to some idea of what you think ‘good writing’ is.
It will sound false and forced. If you see the world through a humorous lens, bring that out in your writing. If you have a philosophical frame of mind, express that, too.
The subtitle of my memoir Making the Breast of It was ‘Breast Cancer Stories of Humour and Joy.’
A few people told me they didn’t think breast cancer was a humorous or joyous subject. (None of these people had experienced breast cancer).
But that didn’t deter me. I am by nature an optimist and always see the funny side of any situation. It wouldn’t have been possible for me to write the memoir in any other way.
Baring yourself to the reader, warts and all, is scary. Because you really have no idea how people are going to react to your memoir, and you’re opening yourself up to judgement and negativity.
Author Edna St Vincent Millay was quoted as saying, ‘A person who publishes a book appears wilfully in public eye with his pants down.’
She was referring to any book, but this is especially true of a memoir.
But this is what vulnerability is all about. Laying it all out there and saying, ‘This is me.’ Readers will respect you for it, because chances are they’ve had similar experiences, thoughts and feelings and perhaps haven’t been brave enough to share them.
And let’s face it, you don’t have to write a memoir to be judged. We’ve all had the experience of being judged for things we’ve said or done.
The fear of judgement is invariably worse than the reality of it.
In my blog post Vulnerability In Writing Memoirs, I discuss this in more detail, and reveal a couple of episodes from my memoir in which I felt vulnerable revealing my thoughts and emotions.
So, Do Ghostwriters Write Their Own Memoirs?Yes, yes they do.
Without a doubt, writing my own memoir has contributed to a greater understanding of and empathy with my clients.
Empathy is a necessity for a memoir ghostwriter, so if you’re thinking of hiring a ghostwriter to write your memoir or life story, I think a fair question would be, ‘Have you written your own memoir?’
The post Do Memoir Ghostwriters Write Their Own Memoirs appeared first on Robin Storey.
