Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” For a long time, I thought I understood what he meant, but I was only partially enlightened. It wasn’t until I faced obstacles that stopped me in my tracks that I began to understand what he meant. Are you waiting for others to change?

Last week a co-worker complained that another department wasn’t giving him all the information he needed. It had been going on for weeks. I asked him what he’d tried to remedy the problem and he said, “I told them twice, and my rule is after that it’s on them. I’m not going to do it for them.” The bottom line is that this strategy has meant he hasn’t had the information he needs for several weeks. The person he’s hurting the most is himself. He’s waiting for others to change to fit his needs.

One Sunday I was having breakfast with my father. It was a Sunday morning ritual when he felt up to it. We rotated restaurants. That eek he chose Denny’s. He likes their biscuits and gravy and coffee. I asked if he’d read an article on the sports page of the Sunday paper. He hadn’t because the paper was thrown on his porch not put in the newspaper holder below his mailbox. My dad was 89-years-old, and he was afraid to bend over on his porch for fear of falling.

I suggested we get him one of those grabber sticks, and his first reaction was that it wasn’t a bad idea. But then he said no,”They’re not doing their job they need to put it in the box! And if they don’t I’ll cancel the paper!” I didn’t argue with him, but my dad looks forward to the morning paper. He plays the word games, reads the sports section, and looks at the grocery ads (He’s a retired Grocery Manager). If he follows through with his threat, he’ll miss all of this. It won’t be the newspaper organization that losses it will be my father.

There have been times I’ve looked at circumstances out of my control and thought, that’s not my responsibility. And there have been times, more than once, that I’ve given up trying and began blaming others for my failure to hit my goals.

When we point fingers and pass the blame — little will change. Only by taking responsibility can change be affected. Don’t concentrate on what you cannot control; concentrate on what you can control. If you wait for others to change to meet your expectations … you may be waiting a long time. It’s easy to say it’s not your responsibility, or it’s someone else’s fault, but if that’s your plan, you have no plan. How’s the idea of expecting others to change to fit your needs working so far?”

The bottom line is that whenever we allow circumstances to prevent us from achieving our best we give ourselves an excuse. And here’s the difficult thing. Our excuse may be real, it might be out of our control, but does that mean we accept it as a reason to give up? Or do we look for a way to improve the situation, because if you’ve tried waiting for others to change to fit your needs, how’s that plan worked for you so far?

I like to help people and organizations, but I have three criteria I consider before taking an assignment – I believe in what the organization stands for, I know I can help, and it looks like fun. If you have any questions, Contact Me. 

Does your business have a  management training plan? Many organizations, large and small, use my book, The New Manager’s Workbook a crash course in effective management, as the basis for their leadership development program. I’m also available to conduct training.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

This post first appeared in We Are Recruiters. 

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