We’ve all seen it. We might have even done it ourselves once or twice. We log onto Facebook and find a cryptic social media post that goes something like, “I am just beyond words right now,” or “Just when you think someone is your friend…” Even popular online publications have borrowed this practice to generate ever more clickable headlines. You know the ones:

“The One Weird Trick Will Save Your Life!”
“It Was Supposed to Be a Simple Birthday. You Won’t Believe What Happened Next.”
“[Insert Celebrity Name] was FUMING”

No context. No substance. Just a concoction of words that create enough mystery that we find ourselves curiously interested. But these are just marketing tactics, inciting enough sensationalization to get clicks on their articles. They’re known as “clickbait” for a reason!

When it comes to personal posts, though, the effect is somewhat more deteriorative. These kinds of posts from friends or family are vague enough to make everyone curious and emotional enough to invite concern. And suddenly the comments start rolling in:

“Are you okay?”
“What happened?”
“Sending love!”

This behavior, like clickbait, also has a name: vaguebooking. It was coined in 2009 (during the rise of Facebook, of course) and is defined by Urban Dictionary as “an intentionally vague Facebook status update that prompts friends to ask what’s going on or is possibly a cry for help.” Basically, the act of posting something intentionally ambiguous or emotionally charged as a means to draw attention, sympathy, or validation.

But this isn’t about judgment, especially because many of us have been there. Maybe we’ve had a fight with a loved one, a hard day at work, or we’re just feeling confused or unseen. In the moment, turning to a platform designed for connection and posting as a means to feel connected seems natural. However, without consciousness we’ll only find ourselves falling into a deeper hole.

From a kabbalistic and spiritual perspective, vaguebooking—especially when it involves relationships or exes—reveals a desire for external validation. When we post something cryptic or emotionally charged, hoping others will read between the lines, what we’re really expressing is our longing to be seen, heard, and understood. But seeking that recognition through ambiguity won’t provide us with what we really want—connection.

Kabbalah teaches that fulfillment doesn’t come from external attention, but from internal transformation. Instead of vaguely sharing, we can ask ourselves: what am I truly feeling, and what do I actually want? From there, we can communicate honestly and heal the connections with the most important people in our lives.

So what can we do when we feel the urge to post vaguely? Here are a few things you can do instead:

If your emotions are running high—step away from all screens

Anytime we can feel reactivity rising, remember that there is power in pausing.

Kabbalah would say these are the moments custom-designed for you. Not as punishment, but as an opportunity to evolve. If you’re angry, heartbroken, or disappointed, firing off a vague social media post on Facebook or anywhere else might feel satisfying for a second—but it’s still an energy grab, a reaction born of lack.

Instead, pause and just breathe. Notice what’s happening inside you. You don’t need to make the feelings disappear—you just need to create enough space to recognize them before they take over.

If you’re looking for support, ask for it clearly

DON’T”: “I just feel like giving up.
DO: “Today was a tough day for me, I could really use some support. Can you leave your favorite practices for turning a tough day around in the comments?”

This doesn’t overshare but lets your friends and followers know you need some support and gives them a clear way to give you that support. If you need specific support or to share in more detail, reaching out to people directly is the best way to go. There is nothing wrong with needing to vent but without the right consciousness, venting can be indulgent leading us away from what we’re ultimately seeking.

Post something you’re grateful for instead

Nothing turns a tough moment around like gratitude. Sharing a photo of something or someone you love, a good part of your day, or an article or book that is inspiring you can bring way more joy than a vague post ever could. Not only will you be cultivating your own positive feelings, you’ll be inviting your friends and followers to enjoy and expand those good feelings with you.
You’ll be receiving the connection you’re looking for and boosting your day and someone else’s too.

The next time you feel tempted to post something like “Wow. Just wow.” —take a breath. Step away from your screen and look out the window, reconnect to the Light, and ask for guidance. The attention you’re seeking might just be your own.

The post Before You Vaguebook, Try This Instead appeared first on Monica Berg.