What’s the first impression you want to give people?

It’s been awhile since I’ve answered a prompt question — mostly because I haven’t felt interested, and partly because I never quite knew how to respond. But this one relates to what I’m currently going through, so I thought I’d give it a try.

Most people want their first impression to be friendly or warm. They want to seem approachable, open to conversation, and willing to listen.

These are things I know I’m not.

I’ve learned how to fake it — customer service will do that to you — and I’ve gotten good at it without even realizing. But the truth is, I’m closed off. I don’t enjoy approaching others, and I tend to shut down in large groups. Social situations have always felt awkward for me, so I avoid them when I can. In person, I know I can come across as prickly or even angry, but I’m not. I’m shy. I just have a hard time connecting.

This topic feels timely because I’ve been working on putting myself out there more as an author. If I want people to read my stories, I have to be social and open — two things that don’t come naturally to me. Over the last few days, I’ve started posting on different sites and slowly interacting with others. Whether it helps their first impression of me is too early to tell.

Maybe one day, people will see me as friendly and approachable — and it won’t be because I’m faking it.