I’m pleased to report that I’ve still got it! Even as I approach my middle ages, I still can pull it off.

Just a few weeks ago, I was picked up by not one, but two younger guys!

Here’s how it went down.

I had a doctor’s appointment in the big city and afterwards, I planned to do some shopping. I didn’t have money to go shopping but I did have rewards points at not one, but two stores and far be it from me to let those pass by.

For you non-Cape Codders, for us, the big city is the town of Hyannis, population just over 14,000. That may not seem like much to the rest of the country but we think that’s HUGE.

Not only does it have way more people in the off season than we other Cape folks, it’s got big city amenities like a hospital. And a mall. And really big stores. And a McDonalds. Crazy!

When I was a kid, every once in a while, we would make the five-hour drive to Hyannis.

Ok, it was only an hour but to my five-year-old self, it felt like five hours. It gets longer by minutes each time you ask your mom. “Are we there yet?” 

But it was always exciting, usually because if I limited my asking, “are we there yet?” to only every 15 minutes, I could get McDonalds. And a toy.

If I was really good, I could get a toy that wasn’t from McDonalds.

As much as a drive to Hyannis was exciting, it was also very dangerous!

Like the time I got lost in Kmart.

I remember it clearly because I was wearing a white jacket with cherries on it.

Really mom? It was the 70’s but still.

A nice lady found me and took me to the courtesy desk where they picked me up, plunked me on the counter and put a description of my non-descript self over the loudspeaker, emphasizing my embarrassing clothing.

My mom came to get me, and they let me go off with her even though I was crying. I was crying because now the whole cool store knew I was wearing a fruit jacket.

See how dangerous this was?

When I got lost in my small town a neighbor would drag me back to my house, leave me on the doorstep and yell into the house, “found Yvonne wandering again! By the way, what’s with this jacket you have her in?”

But as usual, I digress.

So there I was, eager to use my Paper Store points, a free card AND $4, and my $5 in Best Buy reward points. It’s almost impossible to find anything for $5 at Best Buy. But they did have little packets of Legos for $4.99, and the Toys for Tots drive was coming up.

I picked up a Speed Champions Ferrari bag of Legos and took them to the register. They were on sale for $4.74. Score!

But it turns out I couldn’t use my rewards points unless what I bought was over the allotted points, so I picked up a bag of Funyuns I didn’t need or even really want; my last stop was going to be a favorite coffee shop for a mocha latte and maybe a cookie if they hadn’t run out.

Best Buy no longer has paper receipts or shopping bags so I headed to my car carrying the little bag of Legos and the little bag of snack food. It was in the crosswalk that suddenly, somehow, I was down on the ground, Legos and Funyuns flying everywhere.

I was stunned.

I fall all the time and usually jump right up due to the embarrassment. I blame being a klutz, being distracted, and then there is the whole multiple sclerosis thing.

Was I distracted? I was eager for coffee after my short shopping trip, but I was also in a crosswalk during lunchtime at the mall and there were cars everywhere. Now there were Legos and snack food everywhere too.

I was so stunned I didn’t jump up this time. I did look down and saw broken gravel right alongside the crosswalk, and a small rut in the concrete near my right foot where the broken gravel was supposed to be. It was then that two younger guys in construction type clothes, likely heading to the food court for a very unhealthy and high-priced lunch, noticed me, came over and each taking one of my shoulders, picked me up.

While one tried to convince me to let him call an ambulance the other set about gathering the toy blocks for me. I told them both it was ok, I was more embarrassed than hurt and didn’t need an ambulance OR a bag of ripped open Legos or snacks, thanked them and hobbled to my car still shaken.

I made it to the coffee shop where I felt so sorry for myself, I did get a latte AND a cookie- thank goodness for small miracles.

There my left shoulder and my right ankle started to throb and so I next got myself to Urgent Care where I was x-rayed and it turned out I had a right ankle avulsion fracture and needed to be non-weight bearing, at least until I got in to see an orthopedic doctor.

If you are keeping track, that is non-weight bearing left foot toe surgery last April and, not to be outdone, now my right ankle decided to mess itself up too and enter non-weight bearing status. 

Fortunately, the fracture only required me to be non-weight bearing for just a few days though it swelled up to something ugly for quite some time. I likely pulled a muscle in my left shoulder with the sudden twist of my body that the fall caused.  

I have good insurance so I didn’t have a ton of copays for the boot Urgent Care sent me home with or the new set of crutches I still can’t maneuver in.

I reported the broken gravel to the mall, and they asked me to file an incident report which involved going back to the scene of the crime to show a security guard the area. It was there, while pointing out the crosswalk danger zone, that I looked down and found one sole Lego, missed by one of the guardian angels that picked me up.

Weird how I found it comforting, like it needed to come home with me while its other Lego Ferrari friends were in the trash. While mall insurance folks said the broken gravel was not responsible for my fall, though I beg to differ, the mall manager felt bad, promised me they would fix the crosswalk and gifted me a mall gift card to thank me for being a good mall customer.

As we approach Thanksgiving my shoulder is still sore and my ankle is still a little swollen, but I am on the mend.

And thankful.

I’m thankful for no copay insurance.

I’m thankful to the nice mall manager who sympathized with the plight of the clumsy girl who just wanted to use her Best Buy reward points for good.

I am very thankful to the two guardian angels who stopped to help when I just sat stunned in the middle of a busy mall crosswalk.

And I am most thankful for my ability to still be picked up by younger guys. Ok, it was more fun to be picked up by younger guys when I was in my twenties and thirties, but things change, I guess.

Whether it is being picked up by Kmart employees when you are five and wearing goofy clothes or picked up at the bar when you are out dancing or picked up at the mall when you stumble in the crosswalk, I guess it feels pretty good to be picked up.

This Thanksgiving, what are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving my friends!