The internet, that marvel of modern science, is full of opinions and suggestions regarding writing and the creative spirit. This morning, as I was scrolling through the platform formerly known as Twitter, I read that if you are in a creative slump you should:

Take a shower. It never fails, said the Twit. Alas, it doesn’t work for me. I’m more concerned with how to bend down — I’m a woman of certain years, you understand — to scrub my feet. Or how to keep the shampoo out of my eyes. Or staying warm in the frozen wasteland otherwise known as my bathroom. Still, it may work for you, so I pass it on in hopes that you may find it useful.

Play your main character’s theme music. I like the idea of this. Then I spent several weeks listening to various tunes trying to select the right piece of music. I gave up in the end. Still, you may have better luck.

This one, from a well-known author, suggests that plot is overrated and we should focus exclusively on character. So if you want to write a story about half-a-dozen interesting people stuck in a lift (elevator) for several hours, you have a future bestseller on your hands. But as I learned from Reginald Rose, author of 12 Angry Men, a good story still needs conflict and drama of some sort.

Turn criticism into creativity. Hmm. I have to admit, I like the idea of this one. However, like most people, I suspect, criticism tends to freeze me. If it does get me moving, I’m apt to swing too far in the opposite direction. Tell me a character is too nice and I’ll be sure to turn her into a serial killer. Or that the novel is too long, it will probably end up as a short story. I’m exaggerating, but only slightly.

Success is the best revenge. This is true, but there is an obvious caveat: you have to, you know, actually succeed in order to reap that revenge. I know, I know, the idea is to motivate yourself towards success so that you can avenge yourself on your enemies, real or imagined. That said, if it keeps your bum on your seat and your fingers on the keys, have at it!

Tickle your olfactory. Some writers swear by keeping some familiar scent that tells their subconscious that it’s time to write. I’m allergic to scented candles generally, and I’m not fond of the idea of a drawer full of wrinkled old apples, but if you can find the right odour and it works for you, well, who am I to sniff at it.

And my favourite. Create a space for writing. A desk and a chair, ideally, but some writers wrote standing up, or in bed, or even in the bathtub (how did they keep the paper dry?). Make it relaxing and inviting and as quiet as possible. Make it a place where you are not allowed to play games or chat with friends. Just write. If you do this consistently, the idea is it will have the same impact on your creative receptors as the word, ‘Walkies!’ has on your spaniel.

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