Jacob Eaton for a time in his senior year held a job at a downtown filling station. The owner, a faithful member of Jacob’s father’s flock, offered the job, seeing Jacob as an able and decent young man and one who was in some need of a little money. Another employee there was Jayce Masters, a second-year student at the junior college five miles upriver from Walhonde. Jayce was a particularly handsome twenty-year-old and, given his past dominance as a high-school basketball and track standout, one who retained considerable influence among his peers and those who came after him.

Even then the move had already started toward self-service at the gas pumps, so there were many hours of leisure within the walls of the little business where the two boys sat, gathering their minimum wage hour by hour and chatting about life in their little town.

“Why don’t you give Linda a call?” Jayce asked Jacob. Linda was the younger sister of Katherine Dubois, Jayce’s girlfriend.

“Just don’t want to.”
“Come on. We could have a great time together. The four of us, you know. It wouldn’t have to be anything serious. Just having fun.”

“You know I don’t want to do that.”

“I know, but I’m trying to convince you. What could be the problem with it? You’re unattached, so is she. It’s no big deal.”
“You’ve been put up to this, I know. You wouldn’t keep doing this on your own.”

“She’s a nice girl. Popular. She really likes you.”

A car rolled onto the lot and over the wire that rang a chime inside the station. Jacob stood and saw that the car stopped at the full-service pump. It was his turn and he went out and put ten gallons of gas into Mr. Morgan’s 1968 Diamond Blue Ford Fairlane sedan and took from him three dollars and fifty cents. When he came back inside, he put the cash into the register drawer and took his same seat near Jayce.

“Katherine has put you up to this, hasn’t she?”

“Well, yeah. She has mentioned it a few times.”
“A few times?” Jacob smiled.

“Well. A lot, lately.”

“I can’t do it. It would be wrong.”

“Why? It’s so simple.”
“No, it’s not. And you know better if you’re honest.”

“I’m not sure I do. Why don’t you explain that to me.”

“When you are with Katherine, do you want to be anywhere else?”

“No. Absolutely not. Easy question.”

“Well, I don’t feel that way about Linda.”

“You don’t have to, bud. It’s just for fun.”

“But that’s the way she feels, isn’t it?”

“It is. Yeah.”

“That’s why Katherine keeps bugging you about it. Right?”
“I guess so. But why don’t you just give it one chance? You may find that you do like her.”

Jacob leaned back in his chair, away from Jayce. He put his hand on his chin, looked at the floor, and exhaled.

“Can we speak in complete confidence now? I don’t want anything to affect our friendship, and I want to explain myself to you honestly so that you’ll understand. But to do that, I have to tell you something that I’ve never told anybody, and right now I don’t want anybody else to know.”

“It’s okay. I’ll keep your secret.”
“I do know that I won’t change the way I feel about her. I know how it’s supposed to feel. I feel about somebody else the same way you feel about Katherine. Have for some time now.”

Jayce paused and looked out through the tall window, as if hoping for another customer to break the flow of conversation. None came. “That’s news,” he said, “I haven’t seen any evidence of that. Who are you talking about?”

“Okay. I’ll tell you because I want to convince you that I’m telling the truth and not just being a hardhead. I like you, Jayce. You know that. And hanging out with you and Katherine – and even Linda – would be great fun. I’d enjoy it, I know I would. But for Linda, it would mean more than that. You know it would. And the day would come – soon enough – where I would have to let her down, stop leading her on, and that would hurt her and make me into a pariah at school. I’ve been down that road before. Not going again.”

“So. Who’s the girl?”

“You cannot tell this to anyone. Least of all her or anyone who would get it to her. I don’t want her to know.”

“Okay, I swear it. But why not?”

“Because we are friends, kind of, and though I want more, I definitely don’t want less. If she knew how I felt, and she didn’t return those feelings, she’d have to throw cold over everything, just for protection. She would. To keep from hurting. And I just don’t want to put that on her.”

“But that’s what you’re doing with Linda, right?”

“Yeah. But that’s my call. And it’s not wrong.”

“Okay, fair enough. Who?”

“Rachel Thompson.”

“Oooh. Can’t say that I blame you.” Jayce tilted his head and wrinkled his brow. “Does she ever date anybody?”
“No. But that’s part of the attraction. I’m just going to keep the way clear for what might or might not develop. I don’t have any desire for anything else.”