Recently, the gals on The View were discussing a disturbing trend: the surge in parents’ forgetting their children and leaving them in the car.  Apparently a lot of parents have, for more than a brief moment, neglected to note that their kid is in the backseat of the Honda even though these are the people who most likely placed the baby in the backseat in the first place.

            Barbara showed restraint.  She suggested that parents put the diaper bag or purse in the backseat with the baby.  That way, when Mommy reaches for the bag, she will have a gentle reminder.

Barbara!!!!!  What are you drinking?  I’ve seen you judge others with appropriate harshness.   Why not here?  And where is Star Jones – the prosecutor! – when we need her?

Personally, I find the notion that one might be more likely to remember her purse than her infant upsetting.

Now—I ‘m not organized.  At all. 

It’s true. My husband can’t take it, my friends want to send the contents of my purse to Extreme Makeover, and I have been known to forget a diaper or a snacking food on a longish outing.  I empathize with the violin virtuoso who leaves a Stradivarius in the backseat of the cab and am grateful that  I don’t play an instrument.

I’m just going to say it.

How in God’s name do you forget your kids? 

            Here’s a tip for the childless.  If you are considering having a baby, ask yourself one question: could I possibly forget my kid in the car? If your answer is in the affirmative, stop!  Buy a box of condoms.  And a wheel of birth control pills.  And a diaphragm.  Do they still have a sponge?  Put one of those in there as well.

            If your insurance won’t cover it, I will.

            As to the parents of real-live children who have been left behind, I know there used to be debtors’ prison.  Maybe even loiterers’ prison.  I believe now is the moment for Idiots’ prison.