Secure comes out in two days and I am a bundle of excitement and nerves all at once. Fifteen years since Attached. That's a long time.

Attached actually started somewhere personal. I was going through a painful breakup and stumbled across attachment styles — and it was like a light went on in my head. Suddenly the patterns made sense. Rachel and I wrote the book because we thought others deserved that same moment of clarity.

We had no idea the book would find the audience it did. It's been very gratifying getting emails from people writing to say how much it helped them understand relationship dynamics better.

But one question I didn't have a complete answer to. How does one become more secure? Knowing that one's partner is avoidant doesn't necessarily make things easier. What can people actually do to make things better?

Secure is my answer to that question. It describes a whole new approach, Secure Priming Therapy and Coaching, for how to become more secure both in your relationships and in yourself. You don't need to have read Attached to benefit from it. It stands completely on its own.

Tuesday. I hope it gives people the tools and clarity it's given my patients and students, and myself.