One week from today, Conversion Therapy Dropout will officially* release. I say officially* because it’s already being shipped by Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Bookshop.org, and friends from around the country have sent me photos of it in the wild on the shelves of independent bookstores. I’ve also received dozens of messages and been tagged in Instagram posts from friends who have received their copies, sharing in the excitement. And despite the advice I’ve heard time and again, I do peek at Goodreads and see new reviews being posted regularly.

It’s such a strange feeling seeing something that I’ve poured so much of my time and energy into for the last four years finally out of my hands and in the world. It’s exciting and terrifying.

I spoke with a memoirist a while back, and he mused how once you write your stories down for others, they no longer belong to you. I’ve thought about that a lot. He warned me about vulnerability fatigue and the shock of having people you’ve never met speak openly and freely about things you’ve written and how they’ve made meaning out of them.

And in the last couple of weeks, it has been a strange feeling to do podcast interviews or read reviews and hear intimate parts of my life being discussed. But that’s what I signed up for when I decided to share my story. I want people to understand what it was like to grow up feeling like an outsider. I hope people who have had that experience feel less alone. I want people to understand how much damage conversion therapy causes. I hope people who have experienced it can find some comfort in how I found healing. And I want queer people to know that they don’t have to sacrifice their spirituality for their sexuality. I hope that it gives LGBTQ+ people permission to find a faith of their own. And I hope it serves as a testimony to those in religious spaces of the sacrifice so many queer people make to find a place of belonging.

But most of all, I hope it encourages more people to share their own stories.

In a world filled with AI slop, highly filtered Instagram posts, and propaganda funneled to us by the media, our stories, our lived experiences, the real (and sometimes ugly) truth is what will touch hearts, change minds, and save lives.

I do stress about having the parts of my life I’ve written down open to critique and criticism. I worry about how my words will be received. I wonder if all of this will have been worth it. I toss and turn at night with anxiety. But the one thing I’m NOT worried about is what anyone who I wrote about thinks about what I said. As Anne Lamott famously said, “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”

And with seven days to go until the official* release date, there’s no turning back now. I can’t wait to share my story with you.

The Conversion Therapy Dropout book tour kicks off one week from today with my launch party at the Stonewall National Monument Visitor’s Center in New York City. We are at capacity for the event, but there is a waitlist. If you weren’t able to grab tickets, be sure to add your name to the list, and we will do what we can to get you in!

Then, I’ll be headed to Chicago on May 8, Dallas on May 14, Austin on May 15, and San Francisco on May 31. Other dates and information can be found here.

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Last week, I got a sneak peek at the audiobook version of Conversion Therapy Dropout. It’s just a little over nine hours, which is crazy. I was skittish about doing it myself, but in the end, I’m really glad you’ll get to hear my story in my own voice — and in a few of the voices I made up for some of the recurring characters in the book. It will be available on Audible and Spotify. Pre-save it on Spotify now.

We are on the home stretch. Thank you all so much for being with me through this journey. If you haven’t already, this is my final reminder for you to please pre-order your copy and pop over to my website to claim your pre-order bonuses. I’ll mail out the final batch on Friday.

I’ll have a lot of podcasts and press going live next week for the launch, and I’ll do my best to keep you connected with the latest. I promise I’ll write about more than my book soon.

Much love,

P.S. - For even more frequent updates, don’t forget to follow me on Instagram, Threads, and TikTok.

Learning to Use My Words is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.