This week’s winner of the Love is a Verb Devotional is Lisa Sabatini! Lisa, send me your address at slyttek@yahoo.com to claim your prize.

Now, onto this week’s blog...

To try and keep my thoughts God-centered, my attitude right, and my gratitude meter pegged, I’ve been working through an online Bible study about godly contentment. Knowing my tendency to see the glass half empty, I’ve been keeping Philippians 4:8 in front of me… trying to review it most days.

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” (NKJV)

Even so, I find myself down quite often. All it takes is an obstacle or a delay and my mood falls. I wouldn’t call it depressed. I’ve been there and this isn’t that. Rather, it’s a time of sighing.

Paul, other than telling us to focus on what is good, also says that whatever we have or don’t have, we should be content. I know, intellectually, how incredibly blessed I am. My physical needs are all met. I am a child of the one true God. I have family and friends who love me.

But…

I have dreams. Dreams for many of the stories I’ve written. Dreams for the stories I have yet to finish. Dreams of futures of contentment for those I love. And when a project is rejected, an idea is belittled, or someone I care about suffers yet again, my soul stumbles, often falling into the ditch by the side of the path. As I push myself back to my feet, I look up at my God and sigh.

Why? Why, Lord? I don’t understand. I thought these dreams came from You. I thought they honored You, Your Kingdom, and yet, time and again the matters closest to my heart seem to be stomped on by the world.

Again, the seesaw of the sigh reminds me of how incredibly blessed I am. Then, guilt floods in. Why do I put such worth into these dreams when God alone is worthy?

The Bible words for sigh, both Old and New Testament indicate an external reaction to an internal reflection or prayer. If a prayer, then the sigh communicates my heart to God. He knows, because He inspired Solomon to record it that “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” (Proverbs, 13:12 NASB) It is that deferral, the delay of a dream, that inspires the sigh. It is another indication that we can see the gap between the world as God originally intended where our work and relationships would satisfy, and the world we find ourselves in. If Jesus himself sighed (and the Bible says he did), it isn’t necessarily a sin to do so. It can be an honest expression of where we find ourselves.

Even so, I think I allow the world to trip me up far too often. I forget to focus on the goodness of God. I forget to name all my blessings and thank God for His provisions in my life. Instead, I look at that one dream or one problem in front of me.

My Heavenly Father has an amazing track record of bringing me through similar difficulties. Let my sighs be prayers unto you, God. And then turn my mind again to Philippians 4:8 to thank you for every blessing and bit of goodness you have lavished upon my day.