My new TikTok channel made some of my blind spots glaring.

On Chuck’s Back Porch, I do book reviews… and promote my book. The surprising thing is that in the video, I don’t look like the image that I have in my mind. And there was not just one surprise, I was surprised to see how old I had become. I have wrinkles… on wrinkles. I have sagging jowls. My ears have grown. You might say, “It is just talking. How hard can it be?” I leave off word endings, “eds” and “ings” gone. When recording, I have to concentrate on saying every word… and still sometimes I get it wrong. I have to rerecord over and over. My voice is not the rich, deep baritone that I hear in my head. Then, my hair, it is really getting thin on top.

I thought I’d watch the video and think, “The only problem is this one tiny thing. If I fix that, it will be perfect.” There were so many things that I didn’t notice about myself until I was forced to watch a video recording.

The truth is that: We don’t see things as they really are—especially ourselves. We think we have a clear picture, but we don’t. This is a fundamental truth that we need to accept or we will never grow.

Our family and friends may try to remind us of the truth, but often they don’t want to hurt our feelings. To grow as a person, we need help opening our eyes so that we can become the-best-versions-of-ourselves.

Get out some old photos, from maybe twenty years ago. Did you think you looked like that at the time? I recently got out some photos from before I was married. When I was a very young man. I was much thinner than I remembered, all angles and points. My face was thinner, so my nose looked bigger. And the hair, why didn’t I pay to have a stylist do my hair?

We don’t see things as they really are. Maybe that is good. It is likely a defense mechanism to protect our self-image. Knowing the truth can be overwhelming. We don’t see our marriage as it really is. We don’t see our parenting as it is. Our careers are not as bad as we think of them in our heads. We don’t see the realities of our personal finances. We don’t even appreciate our children’s school and their teachers as we really should. The truth is we need someone to come alongside and coach us.

Spiritual coaches listen to our dreams and complaints. They help us see ourselves as we really are, not as we imagine ourselves to be, or how we pretend to be, but the truth. Sometimes, I need someone to say, “Chuck, you are being too hard on yourself.” Other times, I need someone to say, “Chuck, you are being too easy on yourself.” Occasionally, I need to hear, “You really need to pay attention to this, because it could become a big problem.”

We don’t see things as they really are, because we have blind spots. Our pasts are full of experiences that influence our present and our future. Our past experiences give birth to fear and insecurity, which causes huge blind spots. Because of our past, we have hopes, dreams, and ambitions that we carry deep within us. At times, we can be cynical because of something or someone from our past. We can also be paranoid at times—another blind spot. We all like being liked. Nothing can blind us more than the desire to be liked… or loved. We all have heard the saying, “Love is blind.”

The first area in which we need to grow is in humility. Are you surprised by this? Were you expecting me to say, stronger, smarter, or bolder? The fact is that a humble person can be led, can be coached.

The opposite of humility is pride. Pride fuels the delusion which does not allow us to see ourselves and situations as they really are. We become puffed up and think that we are right and everyone else is wrong.

Blind sports cause a distorted view of reality. We don’t see things as they really are, including ourselves. We have blind spots, biases, and prejudices. Join me on Sunday for other ways we must grow to become the best-versions-of-ourselves.

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