In ancient days in the little kingdoms at the edge of the world, a seeker came before the prophet Imbaun, who said unto him, “As you go your way athwart the world, doing sometimes good and sometimes evil, avoid spelling any word with two or more contiguous Xs. For it shall make you seem a mere knob or dickhead.”

And the seeker said, “But I’m proteinmaxxing so I can looksmaxx my maxximaxxmaxx—”

Imbaun said sadly, “It is too late for this one.”

The seeker turned and saw the god Mung makin...