We’ve had much delightful company this summer. This week ended our visit with our son’s wonderful girlfriend, Sabine. We thoroughly enjoyed her visit.

But I’ve also had company I didn’t want this summer. The company of pain. It has been messing with my rest, my sleep, my motivation, and so on.

Therefore, I’m doing something today that I RARELY do. I’m recycling an earlier blog post. This one is just as true as the first time I posted it. In other words, this is still an issue between me and God. Is it better? I’d like to think so. I think I worry less than I used to, but I still worry way too much. And I think, I’m less likely to lunge ahead of God, but I’m sure I still do. Thus, the title and the theme fits. So, onto the recycled post from over ten years ago!

A Lesson I Keep Needing to Re-Learn

I feel really sorry for God sometimes.

I know that he’s big enough to handle anything we creatures do, merciful enough to forgive us, and patient enough to provide us with new learning opportunities, but if he wasn’t perfect the frustration levels would surely skyrocket. I’m quite grateful he is the one and only true God because if he were like some of the mythological gods, I’m sure I would have been lightning zapped by now.

Over the years of following my Lord, one particular area has plagued my growth. It results in two sets of behaviors which can hide the truth of the sin. The problem is I have issues with trusting God.

Oh, I talk a good game. And I even believe it. My head knows all the Bible truths about God’s integrity and holiness. He keeps his word. Has throughout all of history. But still for some reason my heart and soul refuse to believe those facts. Instead, I act in one of two ways.

Worry. This is actually the inaction reaction. Instead of trusting God or doing anything to change my attitude, (like pray), I agonize over what might be. This becomes particularly troublesome in the wee hours of the night. A thought wakes me up, often a thought about one of my sons, and instead of praying, the worry cycle starts. It feeds upon itself until each worry is out of proportion to the original thought. At this point, I often give in and pray because if I don’t, I won’t get any more sleep.

Self-sufficiency. This definitely means taking action. But this path to action goes back to the garden and the original fall. Here, my path says: God, I’ve got this. I can be god for this activity or this objective. I know good and evil and I have decided that path A is better than the path B you seem to be leading me towards. So I’ll take care of it.

Either of these can look good on the outside looking in. The second can look like I’m a hard worker, getting things done. They can even look like godly things. The first can look like honest concern and caring.

But God reminds me of the truth when I get serious. I need to trust him.

And he’ll keep me in school until I learn that truth.

This week’s winner is Sarah Taylor. Sarah, email me at slyttek@yahoo.com with your address so I can get your books off to you!

Next week’s prize offering will be a copy of Guzzy Goofball and the Homeschool Play from Outer Space. If you have kids or grandkids in the 7-12 age range, be sure to comment for a chance to win it!