Sexual Child Abuse - Penn State Aftermath
No doubt like me; you are sickened by the Penn State child sexual assaults; as you were no doubt sickened by previous mass incidents of child sexual assaults by Priests, Clergy, Rabbis. The non-reporting and cover-up syndrome at Penn State is no different than clergy cover-up for sex offenders within the religious fabric of society.
While the media, professionals and collegiate officials debate how to handle the Penn State tragedy, including the systemic cover-up by university leaders, and others; like myself; you want the public to know how sexual abuse impacts children's lives.
You no doubt heard commentators make innate and blatantly calloused comments: 'What's done is done,' 'There's no one left to go after,' 'Why punish the students and the athletes by placing sanctions on Penn State?' Unlike the religious entities and Penn State University the damage quickly fades into the back ground; sexual abuse does not fade into the back ground for the survivor.
It's time to heal those who bear the aftermath, and it is time for society to pull their heads out of the sand about sexual child abuse and sex offenders. In my book "If I'd Only Known... Sexual Abuse In Or Out Of The Family: A Guide To Prevention," I set-forth the details and the stark aftermath of sexual child abuse and how to prevent it in or out of the family. If these commentators, professionals, clergy or collegiate officials were the victims, or their children were, I know they would demand restitution and changes going forward so that a tragedy of this nature would be prevented.
Hearing the supporters of the university's football program nullify the damage is reminiscent of a society that is in denial about the full scope and magnitude of sexual child abuse aftermath. Penn State's board could do the noble gesture and make it easy for themselves by self-imposing the 'death penalty' option - temporarily shutting down the embattled football program.
As horrific as sexual child abuse is, left untreated by a protocol specifically focused on sexual child abuse recovery, rather than treating the symptomatic behaviors and physical maladies, the volume of lifelong negative consequences is worse than the initial assault. Children often hear the voice of their abuser in their minds-telling them they're bad, they're ugly, they're worthless, that no one would believe them, or no one would care or they wanted and/or liked the sexual assault-long after the abuse occurred and/or was reported. The emotional torture continues until the recovery process is in an advanced stage.
Without a recovery process specifically focused on sexual child abuse the lasting scars, include, but are not limited to:
• Difficulty managing emotions. One of the strongest signs of well-being is the ability to manage adversity, to keep emotions balanced. "For sexual abuse survivors, a lasting legacy is the opposite of well-being." Sexual abuse survivors usually have difficulty expressing feelings, which are then bottled up, often leading to sporadic periods of depression, anger and anxiety. Many survivors use excess alcohol and/or drugs to numb the pain.
• Feeling a core sense of worthlessness, dirty or damaged. The physical side of sexual abuse is one aspect, what haunts survivors is the voice of the abuser, constantly reinforcing a lack of personal value. As time passes the survivors mature into adults, who are unable to invent in themselves. With a deep sense of being damaged, they often feel incapable or unworthy of career success and higher-paying positions.
• Difficulty trusting relationships or people on any level is omnipresent. 80% of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by family members, 19% is perpetrated by people the child knows and trusts-- family friends, church leaders, teachers, sports coach, scout leaders, et al. U.S. Government statistics reveal 1% of children sexually abused are abused by a stranger. Children who can not feel secure within the family, the most fundamental relationships, develop deep and pervasive trust issues. Relationships are often doomed because the survivor trashes good relationships, fearing their partner will ultimately either control, hurt or abandon them as was the case with the trusted family-member perpetrator. More often than not, survivors are drawn to an abusive person because they do not know what a healthy relationship feels like or entails.
When I hear the 'Yeah, but,' argument from people who are in denial and defend and thereby allow sexual child abuse to continue, whether it is the tragedy of Penn State, the Catholic Church, Judaism, Protestant or Mormon Church, my convictions that society needs to do more to raise awareness about sexual child abuse rises another octave. Society needs to raise awareness on how sex offenders are created; how sexual abuse offenses can be prevented; and enforcing the law, which requires professionals and persons in authority to report the abuse when the person first suspects there is reason to believe an adult is on the verge or already has sexually abused a child.
In the final analysis, we have a responsibility to protect our children so they can reach their greatest potential, free of adults who may exploit and alter that divine gift-potential.
No more denial. No more cover-ups. No more excuses or reasons for any child being sexually abused by someone who has authority or responsibility for the child's well-being.
Dr. Neddermeyer has developed and facilitates workshops on preventing sexual child abuse, identifying would-be sex offenders and the signs of sexual abuse. http://drdorothy.info/?page_id=9
Dorothy M Neddermeyer, PhD has studied human health and well-being for decades, earning a Masters in Clinical Social Work and a Doctorate in Metaphysics. In 1994, she founded Genesis Consultants, Inc. a personal and professional consulting firm. She facilitates Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Transformation (EPST) a highly effective protocol to Transform the root cause of all issues and symptoms. EPST is direct, focused and combines creating health while transforming the past. She is a keynote speaker and offers programs for schools, organizations and in corporate settings. http://drdorothy.net
While the media, professionals and collegiate officials debate how to handle the Penn State tragedy, including the systemic cover-up by university leaders, and others; like myself; you want the public to know how sexual abuse impacts children's lives.
You no doubt heard commentators make innate and blatantly calloused comments: 'What's done is done,' 'There's no one left to go after,' 'Why punish the students and the athletes by placing sanctions on Penn State?' Unlike the religious entities and Penn State University the damage quickly fades into the back ground; sexual abuse does not fade into the back ground for the survivor.
It's time to heal those who bear the aftermath, and it is time for society to pull their heads out of the sand about sexual child abuse and sex offenders. In my book "If I'd Only Known... Sexual Abuse In Or Out Of The Family: A Guide To Prevention," I set-forth the details and the stark aftermath of sexual child abuse and how to prevent it in or out of the family. If these commentators, professionals, clergy or collegiate officials were the victims, or their children were, I know they would demand restitution and changes going forward so that a tragedy of this nature would be prevented.
Hearing the supporters of the university's football program nullify the damage is reminiscent of a society that is in denial about the full scope and magnitude of sexual child abuse aftermath. Penn State's board could do the noble gesture and make it easy for themselves by self-imposing the 'death penalty' option - temporarily shutting down the embattled football program.
As horrific as sexual child abuse is, left untreated by a protocol specifically focused on sexual child abuse recovery, rather than treating the symptomatic behaviors and physical maladies, the volume of lifelong negative consequences is worse than the initial assault. Children often hear the voice of their abuser in their minds-telling them they're bad, they're ugly, they're worthless, that no one would believe them, or no one would care or they wanted and/or liked the sexual assault-long after the abuse occurred and/or was reported. The emotional torture continues until the recovery process is in an advanced stage.
Without a recovery process specifically focused on sexual child abuse the lasting scars, include, but are not limited to:
• Difficulty managing emotions. One of the strongest signs of well-being is the ability to manage adversity, to keep emotions balanced. "For sexual abuse survivors, a lasting legacy is the opposite of well-being." Sexual abuse survivors usually have difficulty expressing feelings, which are then bottled up, often leading to sporadic periods of depression, anger and anxiety. Many survivors use excess alcohol and/or drugs to numb the pain.
• Feeling a core sense of worthlessness, dirty or damaged. The physical side of sexual abuse is one aspect, what haunts survivors is the voice of the abuser, constantly reinforcing a lack of personal value. As time passes the survivors mature into adults, who are unable to invent in themselves. With a deep sense of being damaged, they often feel incapable or unworthy of career success and higher-paying positions.
• Difficulty trusting relationships or people on any level is omnipresent. 80% of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by family members, 19% is perpetrated by people the child knows and trusts-- family friends, church leaders, teachers, sports coach, scout leaders, et al. U.S. Government statistics reveal 1% of children sexually abused are abused by a stranger. Children who can not feel secure within the family, the most fundamental relationships, develop deep and pervasive trust issues. Relationships are often doomed because the survivor trashes good relationships, fearing their partner will ultimately either control, hurt or abandon them as was the case with the trusted family-member perpetrator. More often than not, survivors are drawn to an abusive person because they do not know what a healthy relationship feels like or entails.
When I hear the 'Yeah, but,' argument from people who are in denial and defend and thereby allow sexual child abuse to continue, whether it is the tragedy of Penn State, the Catholic Church, Judaism, Protestant or Mormon Church, my convictions that society needs to do more to raise awareness about sexual child abuse rises another octave. Society needs to raise awareness on how sex offenders are created; how sexual abuse offenses can be prevented; and enforcing the law, which requires professionals and persons in authority to report the abuse when the person first suspects there is reason to believe an adult is on the verge or already has sexually abused a child.
In the final analysis, we have a responsibility to protect our children so they can reach their greatest potential, free of adults who may exploit and alter that divine gift-potential.
No more denial. No more cover-ups. No more excuses or reasons for any child being sexually abused by someone who has authority or responsibility for the child's well-being.
Dr. Neddermeyer has developed and facilitates workshops on preventing sexual child abuse, identifying would-be sex offenders and the signs of sexual abuse. http://drdorothy.info/?page_id=9
Dorothy M Neddermeyer, PhD has studied human health and well-being for decades, earning a Masters in Clinical Social Work and a Doctorate in Metaphysics. In 1994, she founded Genesis Consultants, Inc. a personal and professional consulting firm. She facilitates Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Transformation (EPST) a highly effective protocol to Transform the root cause of all issues and symptoms. EPST is direct, focused and combines creating health while transforming the past. She is a keynote speaker and offers programs for schools, organizations and in corporate settings. http://drdorothy.net
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Tammy: You are to be commended for your strength and courage. Your situation is unfortunately too frequent in every state - and other countries. What state or country are you living? I might be able to shed some light onto why the situation was dismissed.
I live in Ohio and the city is Ravenna. The reason is due to the cover up from "The Boys Club" it has been going on since the I moved here 1977, not as bad now, yet same ppl getting away with crimes. Depending on who you hire for an attorney, depends on what you get away with. Depending on who owns the firm, who is in office and who is friends with whom. Ask any attorney in each county around us, they will all tell you the same thing.
It is "The Boys Club", I have linked the judges, magistrates, attorneys, who's who & prosecutors. I actually can prove it with a hand full of corrupt ppl. The FBI came in and busted 1 judge and 1 attorney a few yrs back, thinking it would do something, it did noting.
We have fraud throughout out county offices, which is also linked certain elected officals, who have relatives as attorneys and judges, who they try to cover up their part in the corruption. i.e. judges, attorneys etc.
When I was doing my research and getting copies of doc's. in order, they all tried to scare me but I have done nothing wrong. I need to shine a light here and get this corrupt ring put to bed. It is an old italian town where the mob used to be way back in the day, plus with Ohio being corrupt in politics, it filters on down. Our town had the worst mayor he was sent to prison two times I think 1 as a mayor 1 as a state sentator.
I need to know about this new level of lies with my daughter. This is just so sad. I did not think it could have gotten any worse a 2yrs ago, then the past 18 months have just been so far out of reality for her. It is like she is trying to blame me for everything that happened to her by her dad, step mother and her dad's mom. I get the fact that she is in pain, and the judges, cfs told her off and did not protect her, I get it. But this has just gone to far, I will not sit back another day ans shut my mouth! We have lived our entire lives in fear of my ex, his mom and then his wife and these corrupt evil men & women supposed to be protecting us from criminals like them. I am done with being nice christian girl. I lived it with my children, grand children, always trying to put a stop to it. I have not stopped, and now, they tried to kill my son, then when that did not work out, they have tried to delay his recovery.
It was so bad, one time, we, my daughter and I had to craw on the floor for 2 days not have any lights on and then finally I snuck her out the back bedroom window, through our small back yard, over a fence, through the neighbors yard, down the middle of the street and had her lay on the floor of my sisters mini van, to take and hide her.
My ex mother in law and her boy friend had been waiting to try and kidnapp her. My ex had kidnapped my son when he was in 2 or 3 rd grade and no court would help. We had not gotten to go to court to start the divorce yet. So they did nothing to help, even when told of abuse will get bad, when I explained what was going on to the county ppl who were to protect us! NOTHING !! How can they get away with this??? and they, my ex and his mother, and his grand mother did this a few times to our kids.
My son is still dealing with the lies 26-27 yrs later.
What can I do, to help them (my children and grand children)??
Tammy: My apology for the delay in responding. Apparently, I missed the notice that a comment was posted. First and foremost my heart goes out to you and your family. I know the pain you suffer and the continued anguish it bestows. While your case is not unique in the U.S. in any state, it is inexplicably egregious. Keep the faith that those who have perpetrated these crimes will meet their karma sooner than later. With a corrupt judicial system; there is little one person can do. I wish you well in all your endeavors.
I know about the stockholmes but this is just unreal? She has always had to lie to cover for her dad, so her step mother would not be embarrased and no one in her family could know, she did not want them to know what type of a person she married. Plus, her step mom had more power than her dad.
Then my daughter did not really protect her daughter as she should have. b/c of who the ppl were and then she did not want any one to know what happened to her daughter. She felt if she left it alone, she might not rememebr it and she thought it was better for her b/c of how the judge had treated my daughter, he told her off and never let it be entered in court.??
I did not know if it is normal or maybe b/c she never tried to have the ppl charged with a crime, that is why she lies so bad about me.
Where I live, we have a huge problem and cover up with children not being protected. My ex husband and his wife alone, would bring shame upon this town, as bad as Sandusky did to PA.
My grand children were abused just 3 yrs, 4 yrs, 7yrs. ago then 22-30 yrs for my kids, and back to 1977 for me.
When abusers do not have to answer for their crimes, it now is attempted murder of my adult son, by failed means of manufacturing opportunity and then when opportunity came their way April 26, 2012 they jumped on it! they tried and God intervined and then they tried to sabatoge his recovery. I am currently the only one who is trying to get help for my son! and they are still trying to cover this new crime up.
I look forward to hearing from you.
tammy
Also....
We have a day care involved 5-7 yrs ago and back in 1992 teachers who were afraid of my ex, knowing nothing would be done b/c of how things are done here...they never even caled the county, they called me and all doctors, hospitals, counselors police in other cities tried to help, social workers in other cities tried to help us, but this county told them all, even 3 yrs ago, to mind their own business. They will do as they will here!
It depends on who you are, who your attorney is, if anything is ever done!! Many ppl would come forward, if we could get help and shine the light on this!
Thank you so much!