How come?
I've written 2 novels now, and each time the hardest bit has been the shortest bit - the blurb. What I need now is feedback. Does this work? Would it attract readers? Believe me, it's the best of the bunch after dozens of tries, but I'm not convinced that I've nailed it.
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Life is busy in the small village of Holmsford as Christmas approaches. Residents old and new gear up for the celebrations, but not everything goes to plan. Secrets and sleigh rides, new love and heartache all get mixed in the festive pot.
Maggie and Iain have built a better relationship since his infidelities were exposed, but she’s sure there’s still something important he’s not telling her. Their son and his wife are living their dream on their market garden, but what of their daughter, Chloe? She’s still trying to start her own company, and wants to find her own special partner. Her methods aren’t always what Maggie would approve of, and the bombshell she drops in her mother’s lap nearly blows the family apart.
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Life is busy in the small village of Holmsford as Christmas approaches. Residents old and new gear up for the celebrations, but not everything goes to plan. Secrets and sleigh rides, new love and heartache all get mixed in the festive pot.
Maggie and Iain have built a better relationship since his infidelities were exposed, but she’s sure there’s still something important he’s not telling her. Their son and his wife are living their dream on their market garden, but what of their daughter, Chloe? She’s still trying to start her own company, and wants to find her own special partner. Her methods aren’t always what Maggie would approve of, and the bombshell she drops in her mother’s lap nearly blows the family apart.
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The second draft is excellent...you could even drop the first paragraph, except for "Life is busy in the small village of Holmsford as Christmas approaches." Continue with "In the MacTavish Household.." etc. I think the "her" of the last paragraph would be crystal clear if you said "the bombshell she drops in her parents' laps " so we know for sure its Chloe, not Keela in HER mother's lap. Nit picky, but take it only in the "For What It's Worth" department.
Thanks, Ciji. It's comforting to have somewhere I know I can get feedback on such things.
Good to see you here, Ali - I think you'll enjoy it :)
Life is busy in the small village of Holmsford as Christmas approaches. Residents old and new gear up for the celebrations, but not everything goes to plan. Secrets and sleigh rides, new love and heartache, all get mixed up in the festive pot.
In the MacTavish household, the yuletide peace and goodwill has the feel of calm before the storm.
Philandering husband Iain appears to have mended his ways, but Maggie feels certain he’s still hiding something. Troubled son James is now settled and making a success of his market garden with wife Keela. But what of their tempestuous daughter, Chloe?
In her disastrous attempts to find the love she craves and forge a new career, the bombshell she drops in her mother’s lap threatens to blow the family apart…