Ask the Dom - Military Kink...or not?
[image error]
After reading a bunch of BDSM stories featuring ex-military Doms, the sweet and reliable Nonnie asks (paraphrasing):
Do you think people in the military are more likely to lean toward the BDSM lifestyle? Marines get written about quite a bit. I guess they are considered the best of the best (I know who I would call if I needed saving!) and with that reputation comes a "rough around the edges," physically fit, highly sexual individual (men and women). Or does that just make a good story?
Now, before I answer the question, let me say that I have the absolutely highest respect for anyone who serves in the armed forces of non-aggressive, democratic governments. I mean absolutely no offense in anything I say in this post, and, as always, this is one Dom’s perspective, it’s not meant to speak for all Doms, or represent the entire BDSM scene accurately (as if anyone could!).
My broad answer to the question is “I think it just makes a good pretext for explaining why all the men are hunky, lethal fighters who have six-pack abs.” Here’s the reasoning:
1) People who are inclined toward kinky sex are, by nature, the curious ones. They’re likely to be more educated, I think, than the average person. At least, the ones I’ve known have been, there’s often a preponderance of well-educated professionals. Now, a lot of BDSM books have their ex-military people go back to college and become lawyers, cops, bar-owners, whatever, but I reviewed the qualifications for the US Military, and basically, it’s a high-school diploma. I’m sure that special forces and other specialities require more than that. I did know a guy who went out for SEAL training after his Master’s degree. But in general, my guess is that the people who opt for a voluntary military vs. college are likely to be somewhat less intellectually curious, and more engaged with the real world.
2) In my experience, I’ve met few ex-military in the BDSM world, but plenty of professionals, artists, writers, computer geeks, and academics. Perhaps that’s just the circles I run in. Plus, I’ve lived mostly in very liberal cities, where you don’t see a large number of military. Where I have lived in conservative high-military areas, I haven’t seen many signs of a very active kink community outside of the gay community - that is, the military and ex-military I’ve seen show little signs of piercings, sexually-oriented tattoos, unusual hair colors, a tendency to wear leather, or any of that.
3) According to surveys of sexuality, the highest percentage of people who engage even in anal sex (which I actually consider vanilla) is only 24%, and that’s for men in their 30s. Women reach 23% in their 20s (probably doing it with the older guys in their 30s :)).
4) People in the military tend to be fairly religious. I’m not saying you can’t be religious and be kinky, but I would presume that immersion in a religious setting would make it a bit harder to express that inner kinkiness.
Bottom line: I suspect that less than 5% of the total population (and that might be high) regularly engages in anything more kinky than a bit of rough sex at any given point in their lives. That 5% if unlikely to be dominated (heh) by ex-military. Now, I have heard there’s a higher rate of BDSM kink among cops, and I heard it from a woman who’d submitted to a cop and learned that there was something of a private, police-dominated BDSM circle in one of America’s largest cities, but still, one can’t generalize: the plural of anecdote is not “data.”
I’ll have to think of some reward for Nonnie...hmmm, a month without panties, or better, a month in crotchless panties? Perhaps have her wear some of those bras with the nipple-cut-outs while grocery shopping...a daily butt-plug meditation hour...so many choices!
Do you think people in the military are more likely to lean toward the BDSM lifestyle? Marines get written about quite a bit. I guess they are considered the best of the best (I know who I would call if I needed saving!) and with that reputation comes a "rough around the edges," physically fit, highly sexual individual (men and women). Or does that just make a good story?
Now, before I answer the question, let me say that I have the absolutely highest respect for anyone who serves in the armed forces of non-aggressive, democratic governments. I mean absolutely no offense in anything I say in this post, and, as always, this is one Dom’s perspective, it’s not meant to speak for all Doms, or represent the entire BDSM scene accurately (as if anyone could!).
My broad answer to the question is “I think it just makes a good pretext for explaining why all the men are hunky, lethal fighters who have six-pack abs.” Here’s the reasoning:
1) People who are inclined toward kinky sex are, by nature, the curious ones. They’re likely to be more educated, I think, than the average person. At least, the ones I’ve known have been, there’s often a preponderance of well-educated professionals. Now, a lot of BDSM books have their ex-military people go back to college and become lawyers, cops, bar-owners, whatever, but I reviewed the qualifications for the US Military, and basically, it’s a high-school diploma. I’m sure that special forces and other specialities require more than that. I did know a guy who went out for SEAL training after his Master’s degree. But in general, my guess is that the people who opt for a voluntary military vs. college are likely to be somewhat less intellectually curious, and more engaged with the real world.
2) In my experience, I’ve met few ex-military in the BDSM world, but plenty of professionals, artists, writers, computer geeks, and academics. Perhaps that’s just the circles I run in. Plus, I’ve lived mostly in very liberal cities, where you don’t see a large number of military. Where I have lived in conservative high-military areas, I haven’t seen many signs of a very active kink community outside of the gay community - that is, the military and ex-military I’ve seen show little signs of piercings, sexually-oriented tattoos, unusual hair colors, a tendency to wear leather, or any of that.
3) According to surveys of sexuality, the highest percentage of people who engage even in anal sex (which I actually consider vanilla) is only 24%, and that’s for men in their 30s. Women reach 23% in their 20s (probably doing it with the older guys in their 30s :)).
4) People in the military tend to be fairly religious. I’m not saying you can’t be religious and be kinky, but I would presume that immersion in a religious setting would make it a bit harder to express that inner kinkiness.
Bottom line: I suspect that less than 5% of the total population (and that might be high) regularly engages in anything more kinky than a bit of rough sex at any given point in their lives. That 5% if unlikely to be dominated (heh) by ex-military. Now, I have heard there’s a higher rate of BDSM kink among cops, and I heard it from a woman who’d submitted to a cop and learned that there was something of a private, police-dominated BDSM circle in one of America’s largest cities, but still, one can’t generalize: the plural of anecdote is not “data.”
I’ll have to think of some reward for Nonnie...hmmm, a month without panties, or better, a month in crotchless panties? Perhaps have her wear some of those bras with the nipple-cut-outs while grocery shopping...a daily butt-plug meditation hour...so many choices!
No comments have been added yet.
Verity Ant's Blog
- Verity Ant's profile
- 4 followers
Verity Ant isn't a Goodreads Author
(yet),
but they
do have a blog,
so here are some recent posts imported from
their feed.
![[image error]](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1X6CU-lJ0mc/T2NbxiudNdI/AAAAAAAAABQ/-T_tHF0TQ-8/s1600/woman+whispering+in+man%2527s+ear.jpg){kind=link}