The 24 year Old Virgin
I received an email a few weeks ago - a truly horrible, vile email from a reader who obviously hadn't liked Waking Up With Dr Off-Limits. I mean REALLY hadn't liked it. It was insulting and made me feel dreadful all night. Seriously, why would a person write such an awful email - just throw the book agasint the wall already....
But that's for another blog.
Her main issue seemed to be that I had written a 24 year old virgin.
Shock, horror, scandal!!!
Yes, apparently 24 was way too old for a virgin in her opinion and that by making my heroine so "old" I was being sexist. That women are sexual beings too and why is it okay for men to have sex and not women. That I was sending a message to women telling them they should be ashamed of having sex.
This took me aback for a couple of reasons (apart from the appallingly aggressive language) The main one is that in 30+ books I've written 1 virgin.
One. And that was my 25th book.
Its really not my modus operandi, you know? Not that I have anything against writing virgins, its just that my heroines tend to be in their 30's so it's never been an issue. This heroine was 24 so I didnt feel it was all that unrealistic.
Secondly, she was no pure flower sitting around keeping her legs crossed for her knight in shining armour. She'd dated and made out with guys, she just hadn't gone all the way because she'd been in love with the hero since she was 20 and deep down she wanted him to be "the one". She had some sexual experience - enough to know what she wanted and the balls to go for it when it finally looked like the hero was interested.
So, I guess my question is this - is 24 seriously too young?
Is there no such thing as being a virgin in your 20's any more?? Am I hopelessly out of touch?
But that's for another blog.
Her main issue seemed to be that I had written a 24 year old virgin.
Shock, horror, scandal!!!
Yes, apparently 24 was way too old for a virgin in her opinion and that by making my heroine so "old" I was being sexist. That women are sexual beings too and why is it okay for men to have sex and not women. That I was sending a message to women telling them they should be ashamed of having sex.
This took me aback for a couple of reasons (apart from the appallingly aggressive language) The main one is that in 30+ books I've written 1 virgin.
One. And that was my 25th book.
Its really not my modus operandi, you know? Not that I have anything against writing virgins, its just that my heroines tend to be in their 30's so it's never been an issue. This heroine was 24 so I didnt feel it was all that unrealistic.
Secondly, she was no pure flower sitting around keeping her legs crossed for her knight in shining armour. She'd dated and made out with guys, she just hadn't gone all the way because she'd been in love with the hero since she was 20 and deep down she wanted him to be "the one". She had some sexual experience - enough to know what she wanted and the balls to go for it when it finally looked like the hero was interested.
So, I guess my question is this - is 24 seriously too young?
Is there no such thing as being a virgin in your 20's any more?? Am I hopelessly out of touch?
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I loved writing that book! I did um and ah about her age but hell, she wasn't 44 for crying out loud (not that there's anything wrong with being a 40+ year old virgin either imho!)
I love virgin stories and the fact that she held off for the man she loved. I don't think making it well into your twenties and still being a virgin is impossible even these days. I still subscribe to the principle that sex means something and get frustrated when people treat it like recreation.
PS. Dr Off-Limits just got a boost up on my TBR pile on those grounds.
Kudos on writing some virtue! It is seriously lacking in society these days or you wouldn't be subjected to such obtuse views on keeping it sacred for someone meaningful. However, I do believe that there are PLENTY of these values instilled in women as I have such a daughter ;) If all characters were the same it wouldn't make for a very Good Read!
No it's not. I haven't read the book yet but I wouldn't have a problem with reading it cz it has a 24yr old virgin. It has absolutely nothing to do with being sexist! It's all about principles & if one chooses not to have sex until they're sure it's with the right person then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's really sad that a 20+ woman virgin is viewed as the odd one out in today's world but even so, they are out there!
Fiona wrote: "I love virgin stories and the fact that she held off for the man she loved. I don't think making it well into your twenties and still being a virgin is impossible even these days. I still subscribe..."I wouldn't have thought it impossible either, Fiona! And I don't mind people treating sex as recreation if they're consenting adults etc etc but I think on any issue there's going to be a spectrum and I don't think a 24 year old virgin is the extreme at all!
Fiona wrote: "PS. Dr Off-Limits just got a boost up on my TBR pile on those grounds."Cool :-)
Kegan wrote: "I loved it and no its not to old."Aww, thanks Keegan!
Tracey wrote: "Kudos on writing some virtue! It is seriously lacking in society these days or you wouldn't be subjected to such obtuse views on keeping it sacred for someone meaningful. However, I do believe that..."Thanks Tracey but I'm not sure it had a lot to do with virtue :-) more one determined chicky who knew what she wanted and wasn't gong to settle for anything else :-)
And I agree variety is the spice of life!
Rahab wrote: "No it's not. I haven't read the book yet but I wouldn't have a problem with reading it cz it has a 24yr old virgin. It has absolutely nothing to do with being sexist! It's all about principles & if..."I couldn't agree more Rahab. It is a sad indictment on us as a society!
Wish that you wrote more virgin heroines!!! Nothing to do with being sexist at all. I know quite a few older virgins actually, 21, 27 and one who's 31. All normal women, who are very pretty and attractive, and career women who are very successful choosing to wait for that special someone. Each chooses their own path in life, no need to judge. Love your books and please write more virgin heroines. ;)
Esther wrote: "Wish that you wrote more virgin heroines!!! Nothing to do with being sexist at all. I know quite a few older virgins actually, 21, 27 and one who's 31. All normal women, who are very pretty and att..."Thanks so much Esther. I've known a couple myself :-) I can't see myself ever writing virgin heroines as a matter of course. Like I said, my heroines are usually in their 30's so I don't think that age lends itself to that storyline very well. I'd love to write a male virgin but not sure I could pull it off....
I'm gearing up for an email like that one day!