My new most hated meme, “Worst. Day. Ever”.

I mean really?  Anyone who knows anything about neuro-linguistic programming, knows that our words create thoughts and thoughts create attitudes and attitudes create behaviours.  Effectively the people who howl these words regularly, are modern day versions of Chicken Licken.  The sky isn’t falling, but if you will create drama where there’s none, something bad is bound to happen.

I’m so insulted and disgusted by this meme at the moment, that it inspired a scene for me.  A scene I dream of one day enacting.  It reads as follows:

Madeleine Bower eyed her friend Sophie across the coffee shop table.  Sophie was lucky the table was so heavy.  “Let me get this straight,” Madeliene arched a brow, “you’re telling me this story because this has been your ‘worst day ever’?” She made air quotes and mimicked Sophie’s tone.

Sophie’s green eyes grew wide, she gulped and nodded very slowly. Madeliene took a deep breath. 

“Sooo…no beloved relative died, in fact not even a pet died.  You did not come home to find your boyfriend in bed with some unknown and uninvited woman.  You did not discover your bank account is empty or your identity stolen and you’ve not been diagnosed with cancer.”  Madeleine stood up and pressed her fingertips hard into the table top.  “I don’t think we can be friends any more Soph.  This isn’t gonna work for me.”

“But Mads, I was just…”

Madeleine snapped her hand up for silence.  “I know what you were doing Soph, you were exaggerating, creating a drama where there was, in reality, very little.”

Sophie opened her mouth to argue.

Madeleine slapped her hand down on the table. Her friend stayed silent.  “I know, Sophie, that a bad day with your otherwise perfect boyfriend can feel like utter crap but if this is honestly your ‘worst day ever’, then you’re pretty damn lucky.”

Sophie gobbed like a landed fish.  Madeleine ignored her and continued.  “Because for those of us who did come home to find their husband of eight years in bed with another woman and who did just recently have a relative die AND who just had her first ever ‘anomaly’ show up in a pap smear, I’ve got to tell you Soph, your exaggeration is just a shitty slap in the face.” 

So tell me, am I wrong?

On the upside, it’s inspired an entire novel…so maybe I should downgrade meme from ‘most hated’ to ‘seriously disliked’.