I would like to take this opportunity to formally apologize to each and every tech god whom I offended with my Tweet about using my antique typewriter for all of my writing from now on. I didn’t mean it. I shouldn’t have said it. Of course I love you and only you.

Now, will you please stop smiting all of my computers? Pretty please? You’re making it really difficult to get any work done around here.

I’m not sure which digital deity I angered. Perhaps it was Binarius, Greek god of computers, or possibly Cyber, Norse god of annoying crap that doesn’t work properly…er…umm…I mean Norse god of fabulous PCs. The only thing I’m fairly certain of is that I still seem to be in the good graces of Appleonius, Greek god of really cool digital gizmos, because my iPad and the various other i-prefixed devices in the house are the only computing gadgets that haven’t been totally useless.

For the last two months, the wrath of whichever entity (or entities) I offended has been poured out upon not just me, but every member of my household. (Heck, I’ve even been getting calls for tech support from vague acquaintances, so the effects would seem to be quite far reaching.) Computer crashes, system failures, viruses, and connectivity issues have befallen every PC in the house in one form or another. In my pain and aggravation, I have adopted a special (if not completely politically correct) “tech support voice.” (My 12 year old finds it hilarious.) I’m even thinking of setting up a 1-800 phone line for my family to call me for computer troubleshooting help. If I charge $20 for the first 30 minutes, and $1 a minute after that, I should be able to buy myself a nice Mac and call it good. (Oh, I shouldn’t have said that! Now I’ll probably have to go out and buy everyone in the family new computers and install a new router before I’ll ever be able to access my e-mail again. **sigh**)

**My playlist for the day: An array of Christmas music, of course!**