The young woman climbs the stairs from the subway and lights a cigarette.

The young man walks up to the young woman.

"Hey, if you don't mind, do you have a cigarette to spare?"

"Sure."

"Thanks." He gives her a confident grin.

"Your barn door is open?"

The grin disappears. "Excuse me?"

She holds out the cigarette like a magic wand. "Your fly is down."

He takes the smoke. "Oh. Excellent."

Meanwhile, I am standing less than three feet away, watching them like a television screen, holding the leash of a dog who is urinating on an empty plastic bag.