I’d been craving a Twix Bar for a while. So every day at work I would check the vending machine in the break area, only to come up empty-handed. Until one day last week! Finally! They were in our “healthy” vending machine (shhh, don’t tell them I found a candy bar, they’d probably take it out of the machine). So I inserted my dollar bill and got my candy bar. And frowned when I pulled it out of the machine. Was it my imagination or was I getting a lot less candy bar than I used to? Nope, not my imagination, it was definitely smaller. And it cost twenty more cents, too. Well, I was committed now, so I took the thing up to my office and ate it on my break. And started thinking…

Just the week before, my paycheck got smaller. Seems I am now paying $15.00 a week more for the Social Security tax, something I am sure by the time I am eligible to receive, I won’t get anyway. And then I thought about the memo my work had sent out the week before that. They would be taking more money out of my check for health benefits. Our premium is going up. Again. Second year in a row. They told us all how sorry they were about that, but that they were still doing better than the average company when it came to what the employee contributes. And I’m thinking, seriously? Just last year they quit covering allergy medications even if the doctor prescribed them – because – as they said, you can buy them over the counter now. So, while they are saving what I am sure amounts to BILLIONS of dollars, they are charging me more and giving me less coverage. Add to that the extra they charge if you are what they categorize as noncompliant. Meaning, you do not fit their cookie cutter model of the perfect person. If you are overweight or have any health issues (such as high blood pressure or high cholesterol) and do not meet their strict rules, you are noncompliant. Well, my husband is being treated for high cholesterol. By his DOCTOR. He has discussed his condition with his DOCTOR. It cannot be controlled by diet. He has to take medication for it. Not good enough for my employer. They want him to take time off his job to come to their Fitness Factory and discuss his high cholesterol with them. Take time off work for them to check his blood pressure too (which his fucking doctor does!) and go to a class about eating healthy. Diet options for people with high cholesterol (which won’t work for him, duh).He has a doctor. And his doctor went to medical school! These chicks at my work did not go to medical school. I’m sure they went to school, but it wasn’t medical school, I can guarantee that. But now they’re more qualified than our doctor? They feel the need to second guess what he’s told my husband? Woof. Don’t get me started on what a colossal waste of time and money this little program is for us. But it works out for my company. They make more money because my husband can’t just leave his job in the middle of the day to come talk to them about something his doctor has already discussed/diagnosed/treated. Hence we pay more. A lot more.

A few months ago my right shoulder was really bothering me. So I went to the doctor. I told her if at all possible I wanted to stay away from taking any drugs for the pain. I’m a writer and don’t like to take things that inhibit my thoughts. I was wondering what alternatives were available. She asked me if I would be willing to try physical therapy and I said, sure, why not? Beats being on pain meds. I just got a bill in the mail from the hospital. I owe them $671.00 for the physical therapy. When I got the bill I thought, “Oh, my insurance will cover this. They always have covered when my doctor referred me to a specialist for treatment.” WRONG! I guess last year (when my premium went up) they also decided they were going to start making us responsible for a rather large deductible (which I do not remember them every telling us about… pretty sure they just let us find out on our own the hard way). If we are referred to a specialist and they perform treatment we are on the hook for the first $800.00 and up to $2,000 out of pocket expenses. Great. Just great. I can’t freaking afford that shit!! And starting Monday, they’ll be taking more money out of my check!!! For less coverage!!! So… no more physical therapy for this chick. Just give me the narcotics, at least they’re covered. I just better make damn sure I don’t get hooked on them. My insurance probably won’t cover the rehab expenses which will be required to get me sober.

Hmmm…. The only bright and shining light there is; they do random drug tests and if I’m on prescription meds and they test me I’ll get 3 days off paid while they verify my prescription with my doctor. Always lookin’ for the rainbow. Yup, that’s me. Just sayin’.

To make matters even happier for me, I have capped out on my pay. I will never, ever, get another raise again. As someone in our HR department told me, my wage is stagnant. Stagnant. Inspiring word. Well, let us look at it this way: my attitude has been inspired by that little gem now. I mean, seriously, do they really expect me to go above and beyond, to exceed their expectations, knowing they will never again reward me for my efforts? Get real, people. You have removed any incentive I may have had. Stagnant… yes indeed… I will do my job. Period. No more. No less.

Oh, and one other little thing. I was watching the news last night and it seems the governor of our fine state thinks he needs to raise our taxes so we can fix the roads. I thought that’s why we were paying such high gas taxes! Guess they must have used that money for something else. Arrrggg!!! My check will continue to get smaller and smaller because more and more will get taken out of it and I will never make more money (where I am currently employed, at any rate).

I’d do a happy dance but I’m afraid I’d slip, hurt myself, and wind up paying a healthy deductible for the ensuing hospital visit and therapy.