And now, a few words from Malcolm and Milkwood, stars of the hit novel BLOOD AND SAWDUST!

MILKWOOD: “Hey, looks like our book is selling well.”

MALCOLM: “Like I give a shit? We don’t see any of that fat cash. Besides, I got us a fight in Alaska.”

MILKWOOD: “Uh, Alaska? Why?”

MALCOLM: “It’s the only state next to Canada.”

MILKWOOD: “What? No it isn’t! Holy flying fuck, kid, have you ever seen a globe?”

MALCOLM: “Well, have you ever fought a bear?”

MILKWOOD: “Yes, Malcolm. All Canadians get the right to vote after we defeat our first grizzly. OF COURSE I’VE NEVER FOUGHT A BEAR!”

MALCOLM: “Well fuck, sorry PETA-Boy. Look, folks, unless you want Milkwood here to fight a bear-”

MILKWOOD: “I AM NOT FIGHTING A BEAR!”

MALCOLM: “Then buy BLOOD AND SAWDUST off us here so we can get bus fare to a decent fight town. Like Stone Mountain, Georgia.”

MILKWOOD: “I already regret this but . . . why Stone Mountain, Georgia?”

MALCOLM: “Because there’s this guy who has a puma that knows karate and-”

MILKWOOD: “Faaaaaaaaaaaaaantastic.”