Now that the Olympics are over (and we can all turn off our TVs and get back to work,) I have a question for you out there. If you had the power to boot one sport out of the Olympic Games, which one would it be? Me, I have no doubt: synchronized swimming. Come on girls, go do something else with you lives. You are ridiculous with those little funny feet sticking out of the water like schizophrenic spoons. But the worst part is your clothing. Not to talk about your makeup and your fake smiles. Such turn-offs.  Look at all the other Olympic female athletes. Other than for the gals in rhythmic gymnastics (which came in a close second in my sport-to-boot list) everyone has beautiful, clean faces. And clothes that don’t blind you when you stare at them and don’t look like Barbie doll’s garments on steroids. Take the swimmers, for example. Or the cyclists. Or…you name it. Everyone looks great but you. It’s 2012, and you are reproducing and promoting the worst female stereotype on the planet. Give it up! And by the way, what kinds of parents enroll their daughters in synchronized swimming? Moms, dads, do you want to see your precious, beautiful daughter in the Olympics? Send her to the soccer field, or to swimming practice, or buy her a bike. How about the track? Not glamorous enough for you? Buy her tennis lessons. Want her to show off her beautiful body in a suit? Teach her how to dive. Is the suit not sexy enough? Would you rather see her in a bikini? Beach volleyball is the answer. Which is an area, by the way, where the US has a fabulous record, whereas the American synchro swimming team, let’s say it, sucks.

Oh, I let it all out, and I’m glad.

As I said in my previous post, I have a broken ankle, so I watched a lot of Olympics in the past two weeks. And I loved every moment of it, including Mary Carillo’s wacko pieces. Way to go, Mary! But when synchro swimming came on, boy, did I turn that telly off! Went playing ball with my dogs (yes, I can throw the ball from my wheelchair.) I’m sure that this post will make a number of people angry, but hopefully a much larger number of them will laugh. And, please, keep the discussion going. Who would you boot out of the Olympics if you could?

I am going back to work now. I have a novel that just came out and needs promoting (The House of Serenades,) and one in the making (The Cabinet Spell.) Lots to do, so I am thankful that, as thrilling as it was, the London adventure is over.

Simon, one and a half years old

Biscuit, two years old