HOW TO WRITE A WORTHLESS NOVEL

This is the most frequent question I get after, ‘Dude, what’s wrong with your hair?’ The awed inquisitors expect me to spell out a step-by-step guide which they would then bend and twist to suit themselves, just like a diet routine. But they are visibly let down when I tell them the actual recipe. Here’s what you need.

A desperate, single guy who is kicked out from Delhi into Ludhiana.
A stinking General Compartment of a train which is running 3 hours behind schedu...