Found piece of paper with something in my handwriting that I don’t remember writing. Which happens sometimes.

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There was an empty beer bottle sitting on the sidewalk. It rained and the bottle filled up with water. Someone walked by, picked it up and drank the water. Can you believe that? He was a CEO who owned 4 Lexuses and lived by a golf course. He drank it because he saw it and felt oddly aroused by the idea of getting herpes. He woke up the next day and he was an insect. He thought it was because of the beer bottle, but frankly once you’ve turned into a bug all bets are off on causality. He didn’t have herpes but he had spotted rocky mountain fever. He bit his wife and gave it to her. She died. It rained and she filled up with water. Bug man tried to drink it and drowned.

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This was on the back of a business card for Steve Sikora, whose card claims he is an engineer at Allstrap Steel & Poly Strapping Systems, inc. I have no idea how this came to be in my possession. On the front someone (presumably Steve Sikora) has written “please true tire” in sharpie. You can’t true a tire. It’s made of rubber or some shit.