“They got me on accessory/Thirty days in jail/One headlight in a Louisville night/Without a chance at bail

But I’ll be home by derby time/So please save me a seat/Mint Juleps on the outfield grass/

The old south tastes so sweet” – Band of Heathens

Despite hitting for $736 on a ten cent bet in last years’ Belmont, the financial success at Kentucky Derby has always eluded me.  With twenty horses (almost double the entries of any other major stakes race) the day more closely resembles a demolition derby than the “sport of kings”.

Unlike other sports betting which is pure chance, in horse racing the winner is actually provided so long as you are both smart and patient enough to decipher the racing form.  Short on knowledge, diligence and discipline I have resorted to three other handicapping methods.  I refer you to Jay Cronley, ESPN and America’s premiere handicapper. Mr. Cronley has almost made me as much as I have lost.

Second I look for signs from above.  Like last year the day before the Derby the MBTA number 9 bus almost took out both me and my motorcycle.  Just before giving the finger I realized God, knowing I’m not too quick on the uptake, was just making sure I knew the nine horse would be the winner.

Living with the Lovely Old Lady (LOL) the number six (as in 666) is in play every year.

You may have seen that rapper Chris Kelly Od’d this week.  As one half of Kriss Kross his stage name was Mac Daddy (the other half was Daddy Mac).  What do you know, the number 8 horse is named “Frac Daddy”.

Finally, I try and do a good deed on Derby day.  For example one year a cashier forgot to charge me for an item.  I went back in the store and paid.  Not out of any altruistic characteristic but because me honesty would be rewarded.

First : Revolutionary.  Handicapping the race for the roses is normally a riddle, wrapped in a conundrum, hidden at the bottom of a quagmire.  To quote Mr. Cronley, “rare things happen, well rarely”.  Rarely does a horse’s running style, post position and mount align for a particular race.  Revolutionary is perfectly positioned with living legend Calvin Borel driving.  When he wins it will feel like stealing.

Second:  Mylute.  Horse has done nothing exceptional but has steadily improved.  ”Slow and steady wins the race” ring any bells?  Should be good enough for second here.

Third:  Goldencents.  Normally, I feel the California horses are too soft for the roller derby character of this race.  However, he is a decent horse and whatever the equivalent is for HGH for horses he’s on it.  Remember Trainer Doug “Drug” O’Neill coming out of nowhere with “I’ll Have Another?”  The horse who then returned to no where rather than submit to a drug test.  I’m not a big fan of cheaters, unless I know in advance they are cheating.

For Mr. Cronley’s picks click here.

You’re probably wondering how my picks selected with divine intervention have worked out?   Apparently God doesn’t play the ponies.

KOKO