It started as a small dilemma, but has grown into a bit of an existential crisis. That probably sounds like a bit of hyperbole, and that's fair. But seriously, I ask you: which business card should I give you?

I have a really cool, challenging, and engaging position during the day. It even has a cool title that I'm pretty proud of-- Vice President. When its not a club that you invent with our kids, being a Vice President is a nice distinction. And it says it right on this little 2X3 piece of...