So as I've been working on polishing IF I STAY, I've been contemplating something that I mentioned briefly in my very first post. Anxiety.

I think it's an important thing to talk about, particularly among the independent authors who are opting for the self-publishing route. Why? Well, perhaps it's partly due to the fact that unlike traditionally published authors, we lack the assistance and overall help that our traditional author-buddies get. We're in this on our own, with only our own prowess to guide us along the slippery (and often nervewracking) slope that is publishing. Can it be a rewarding experience in the end? Of course! But I've been discovering that the road is riddled with all sorts of emotions.

I'll admit that have fears about publishing my very first book. I'll also be honest in admitting that this might also be attributed to the fact that I'm the kind of person who wants to please people. I want my readers to enjoy what I write - and along with that desire, certainly, comes some little sneaky piece of doubt. Sure, I try to remain optimistic. Do I think my book is great? Heck yes! Have my beta readers enjoyed the book? You bet (thank God)! Still, there's the worry that once published, there will be this tidal wave of backlash, where every reader that bothers to buy my book will dislike it tremendously. And they will voice this tremendous dislike. And that, in turn, will make me a very sad panda.

Or, you know, I could very well be met with no response at all. Crickets. And what then?

And so comes the note on Anxiety.

I've discovered that it's normal to feel anxious when you're putting yourself out there - and really thinking on it, that's exactly what writing is. You're taking this hugely vulnerable piece of yourself that you've spend hours and days and months and years pouring yourself into, putting it on paper, and sending it out into the masses for others to judge. That is quite a mind-boggling thing for me to think about. I'm not too sure I can even really speak on those potential rewards and pitfalls at this point. But you know what? I can certainly say that at this very moment, I do feel vulnerable. And anxious. And beyond that, excited.

There's a lovely quote that I always think of whenever I'm faced with a decision that involves either stepping up or choosing to walk away - and I think this unquestionably applies to us as writers:

"You never know until you swing the bat." FLCL

When you think about it, we all have a choice. We can take our work, and let it sit on our computers for a lifetime. Work that could, if polished and perfected, could go on to be a potential best-seller if ONLY you had the courage to seize what you've created and do something with it. You have a choice to walk away, yes. But you also have another choice, and that's to take a deep breath, open your eyes, and swing the bat.

What am I learning throughout this entire process? Anxiety is natural.

Still, readers. I urge you to always swing the bat.