The book is finished. Finished and published. I spent all of Saturday working on the final edit and then most of Sunday making those changes. Then it was done. And I panicked. I almost didn’t publish. I was trying to understand why I’d shut down after being on a perpetual high for three weeks at the thought that I was getting close to finishing it. Then I realized something-I’m afraid.

I’m afraid that the book won’t do well. Or that it will. I never really understood what a big deal it is to offer something of yourself up for what is bound to be occasionally harsh criticism. I don’t know a single author who works and works on something only to be indifferent to its success. We all want to get out there and exceed expectations; or at least I know I do.

So, the book is live on Amazon (after that horrid 12 hour waiting period). It’s there and I’ve checked it in my dashboard, done a search for it, and clicked the link through my confirmation email. It’s more than a little surreal to see it there after it lived so long inside my computer.

Now we wait and see where the tide of reader interest washes my book. Will it stay on the shore, buried in the sand? Will it be set adrift in a sea of other novels that don’t quite find their way? Or will it float along, like that old blue bottle in the ocean, carrying words inside that need to be read, need to be thought about, until it finds someone to mean something to?

Only time will tell.