by Regina Wade

So, you want to know about the lifestyle?

Everything you ever wanted to know about Dominance, submission and BDSM and then some. To say this book is comprehensive is to do it a grave injustice. Comprehensive sailed about half way through and then it just went to a whole new level. Remember the scene from the movie Matilda where Mrs. Trunchbull made the fat kid eat an entire chocolate cake because he liked cake? Well, this book is like, “So you want to know about D/s, well here you go, gorge yourself on the subject.” I was curious, I mean I’d heard the buzz over Fifty Shades of Grey, and by the way, if you have read that book and think you know all there is to know about the subject, boy are you wrong. Although I admit to never having read FSOG, I have read some incredible BDSM themed fiction and a well written real life submissive’s account of finding true love in the lifestyle and I was interested in reading a real life Dominant’s POV.

This book reads like a college course in Dominant/submissive 101. The term clinical even came to mind more once or twice, but don’t let that deter you. Mr. Makai uses doses of humor and snark to make it all palatable. He pulls no punches and makes no attempt to glamorize the lifestyle. He does, however, make it perfectly clear that if you go in with your eyes open and take proper precautions it can be a very rewarding lifestyle indeed. How do you take the proper precautions? There’s a chapter for that. I think I’m a submissive. What’s my next step? There’s a chapter for that. How do I meet other people in the lifestyle? There’s a chapter for that. I heard that kinky folk ….. Is that really a thing? Believe me, there’s more than likely a chapter for that too.

My usual requirement for leaving a review for a book is that I read the entire book, every word. I broke that requirement for this book. I simply wasn’t able to read every single word in all of the chapters, see the “comprehensive” remark earlier, and this book is not written to make that necessary. It is, for all practical purposes, a great D/s BDSM reference book. I did, however, read the vast majority of each and every chapter and never missed reading the end of each chapter. This is where my reason for reading the book lives. Mr. Makai closes each chapter with a personal account of his experience with the chapter’s subject matter. These sections are, in my opinion, the heart and soul of this book. After you’ve been definitioned and cautioned and shocked into submission (pun partly intended) now it’s time for the aftercare. Here we get a peek into the mind of a dominant, the real life workings of a D/s relationship. Do not expect an explicitly graphic look into the bedroom, you’ll be disappointed. But you will get an intimate look into the dynamics that make these relationships work or not work.

So, should you bother to read this book? I found it well written, the author knowledgeable, the subject matter certainly interesting. A little more of the personal insights and real life scenarios would have earned it a 4 star rating from me. So of course you should read this book, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is you may learn something about lifestyles that are different from your own and about the people who practice them and surprisingly, you may learn something about yourself in the process.

Regina Wade
Read the Review at Amazon.com


Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook