It’s funny, how world affairs often tie in to what’s going on in our own lives.  I’m two weeks away from publishing my new book on Amazon (12th of October for those interested), and suddenly the world is talking about the US, and raising the debt ceiling again.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, considering the fact that they’ve been doing it for a couple of years now, but this one looks like it could be pretty messy.  If they ever get past the partial government shutdown, they’ve then got to talk about how they’re going to pay themselves…

My new book, “Cheaper Than Therapy“, talks alot about debt.  Not so much about financial debts, but relational ones.  It’s probably the main theme in the whole book.  When I say to someone who hurt me “You owe me an apology”, I’m expressing this.  Often that’s as close as we get to looking at the real heart of how to forgive.  Most of the time, we think that as long as we have forgiven what they did to us, we’re in the clear.  If we’re still angry, bitter, or afraid of them it’s irrelevant.

My book is about reframing the question, because when we ask the right questions, we can really get to the root of the issue.  Just like the republicans are asking the wrong question (how can we print more money, versus how can balance the budget) we also unintentionally ask questions that don’t really get at the heart of the issue.

The obvious question we all ask is  ”What did they do to me?”, when someone hurts us.  This is what we focus on most of the time.  Unfortunately, it’s the wrong question.  When we’re only thinking about the actions they took that were hurtful to us or those we care about.  But when you look at the actions they should have done (but didn’t), those that you expected/deserved/required/agreed to, you focus on your expectations, and which were left unmet.

Here is some feedback from someone who did my last Forgiveness book group (next one starts at the Washington Hotel in Mayfair on the 14th October if you’re interested, details here.

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