He Of The Mighty Wang
My name is Amy Andrews and I am a hopeless, unashamed fan of The Mighty Wang. Yes, I’m having therapy and taking medication for it, but come on, who doesn’t want their fictional hero to be in possession of The Mighty Wang? Two things a romance hero must have, imho?
The Mighty Wang and the prowess to use it.
Seriously, I can feel a swoon coming on at the mere thought.
Sure, in the real world we know men come in all shapes and sizes as does their equipment. And, having seen a lot of naked men in my life – speaking in my strictly professional, other-life capacity as a registered nurse, (which you no doubt picked up from my usage of the correct anatomical term for the male sexual organ) – I most definitely concur. In fact, I like to consider myself a bit of a Wang expert. I’ve seen ‘em all – from little to large and all things in between. And by that I mean all things (ever seen a bruised Wang? Ouch! )
But when I slip between the pages of a romance novel, I’m not dealing with the real world. I’m not dealing with any old real world man, I’m dealing with a hero. And you bet I want my hero to be well-endowed. I want him to be the one they invented Trojan condoms for! And I absolutely want him to whip that thing out and give the heroine the best sex she ever had. I want her mute and drooling at the end of it all with the sure and certain knowledge that this one Wang shall rule them all.
Romance novels cop a fair bit of flack about this. About the sheer ridiculousness of even suggesting such a mythical creature exists. As if it was a mermaid or a unicorn. Well, excuse me! Please don’t interrupt my fantasy – I’m reading!
And, really, in defence of The Might Wang, why wouldn’t our heroes be so blessed? Package size does, after all, tend to be proportional. Bear with me as I give a nursey anatomy lesson.
Tall, broad guy = well hung. Short, skinny guy = not so much.
Sure, we all know that there are men out there that defy the dictates of their physique and are equipped with most impressive packages. There are also men out there with very big feet that do not live up to their shoe size. But as a general rule, the bigger, taller, broader you are, the bigger, taller, er… broader the Wang.
And aren’t 99% of romance heroes big and tall and broad?
Of course, with The Mighty Wang comes a great deal of responsibility. It can’t cure poverty or ease third world debt or disarm the DMZ. And it certainly can’t be an insta-cure for the internal conflict of the heroine – no matter what feats of amazing aptitude it can perform. That’s a wallbanger for sure. But it can give the heroine prickles and electrical impulses, it can make her shiver and flush and melt and it bloody well better make her call out to Jesus and all the saints and angels for sweet, sweet mercy.
In the real world where G-spots are elusive, sex can be blah and finding the time to even indulge can be challenging, it’s good to know in Romancelandia He Of The Mighty Wang is waiting. The sex will be mind-blowing, the G-spot (along with several others you never knew existed) will be resoundingly stimulated and there will be all the time in the world to go again and again and again.
Yes, He is waiting with his “insert euphemism here” – sword, weapon, trident, velvet man staff, turgid gearstick, throbbing manroot.
Sounds positively painful, right? But, as the Diviynls sang, there’s a fine line between pleasure and pain. And He Of The Mighty Wang is more than willing to take you there!
Swoon
PS - Jake from Holding Out For A Hero is definitely in possession of The Mighty Wang AND has the prowess to use it!
This post currently appearing on the Momentum Moonlight Blog -
http://momentummoonlight.com/blog/he-...
The Mighty Wang and the prowess to use it.
Seriously, I can feel a swoon coming on at the mere thought.
Sure, in the real world we know men come in all shapes and sizes as does their equipment. And, having seen a lot of naked men in my life – speaking in my strictly professional, other-life capacity as a registered nurse, (which you no doubt picked up from my usage of the correct anatomical term for the male sexual organ) – I most definitely concur. In fact, I like to consider myself a bit of a Wang expert. I’ve seen ‘em all – from little to large and all things in between. And by that I mean all things (ever seen a bruised Wang? Ouch! )
But when I slip between the pages of a romance novel, I’m not dealing with the real world. I’m not dealing with any old real world man, I’m dealing with a hero. And you bet I want my hero to be well-endowed. I want him to be the one they invented Trojan condoms for! And I absolutely want him to whip that thing out and give the heroine the best sex she ever had. I want her mute and drooling at the end of it all with the sure and certain knowledge that this one Wang shall rule them all.
Romance novels cop a fair bit of flack about this. About the sheer ridiculousness of even suggesting such a mythical creature exists. As if it was a mermaid or a unicorn. Well, excuse me! Please don’t interrupt my fantasy – I’m reading!
And, really, in defence of The Might Wang, why wouldn’t our heroes be so blessed? Package size does, after all, tend to be proportional. Bear with me as I give a nursey anatomy lesson.
Tall, broad guy = well hung. Short, skinny guy = not so much.
Sure, we all know that there are men out there that defy the dictates of their physique and are equipped with most impressive packages. There are also men out there with very big feet that do not live up to their shoe size. But as a general rule, the bigger, taller, broader you are, the bigger, taller, er… broader the Wang.
And aren’t 99% of romance heroes big and tall and broad?
Of course, with The Mighty Wang comes a great deal of responsibility. It can’t cure poverty or ease third world debt or disarm the DMZ. And it certainly can’t be an insta-cure for the internal conflict of the heroine – no matter what feats of amazing aptitude it can perform. That’s a wallbanger for sure. But it can give the heroine prickles and electrical impulses, it can make her shiver and flush and melt and it bloody well better make her call out to Jesus and all the saints and angels for sweet, sweet mercy.
In the real world where G-spots are elusive, sex can be blah and finding the time to even indulge can be challenging, it’s good to know in Romancelandia He Of The Mighty Wang is waiting. The sex will be mind-blowing, the G-spot (along with several others you never knew existed) will be resoundingly stimulated and there will be all the time in the world to go again and again and again.
Yes, He is waiting with his “insert euphemism here” – sword, weapon, trident, velvet man staff, turgid gearstick, throbbing manroot.
Sounds positively painful, right? But, as the Diviynls sang, there’s a fine line between pleasure and pain. And He Of The Mighty Wang is more than willing to take you there!
Swoon
PS - Jake from Holding Out For A Hero is definitely in possession of The Mighty Wang AND has the prowess to use it!
This post currently appearing on the Momentum Moonlight Blog -
http://momentummoonlight.com/blog/he-...
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