Does anybody else out there suspect, like me, that it’s not us controlling the machines but the machines controlling us?

Whilst I have been trying to get onto this blog my computer decided to update my printer software. I have no idea why. So I said, no thank you I don’t want to do that and clicked Cancel.

My computer said ‘are you sure?’ And 'I said, yes, I'm sure'. And he said, 'Are you SURE?' And the undertone now is definitely 'are you CRAZY??' I know is just a ploy to make you doubt yourself. I know it is. So I confidently went to click, 'yes' I’m sure. And then I thought twice. What harm can it do? Maybe I really should do it. It won’t stop me writing my blog, it will just do its business in the background. Am I expected to do everything it asks me? Maybe I'll hurt its feelings and it will never work right for me again.

So I decided I’d let it have its way and clicked Next.

Well.

It only bloody took over my computer, that stupid stripe going along as it went on its way. 15% downloaded. It sat there for ten minutes. Ok it was probably only 30 seconds but it felt like ten minutes. I wanted to finish my blog and my dog was pulling things out of my waste paper basket and tearing them up and leaving them across the floor for me to tidy up (I think my husband pays him to do that). He gets a little demanding when he wants his walk.

So I went away from the computer, 'a watched pot' and all that, and took a photograph of my dog and his guilty naughtiness. Now this in itself wasn’t easy as the camera decided to be difficult, first of all telling me there wasn’t a memory card in it and I thought, hello, yes there is, but when I looked of course there wasn’t. Then the camera decided it wasn’t feeling well and refused to take a photo. My dog moved away three times and I had to drag him back by which time he was saying ‘I don’t FEEL like smiling now’.

Eventually my computer decided he was done, I tried to get back into my blog, and it kept saying ‘finished now, is that ok?’ and I was ‘yes, get lost’ and he kept coming back ‘finished, do you want to restart your computer now’ and I’m ‘No, just go away’, and he’s ‘Are you SURE?’. Finally I told him to go and take a running jump (ie clicked Yes), and he came back ‘installation not complete, are you sure you want to exit without installing’ and I really am very cross now. Eventually he went away, but the computer is suspiciously slow now.

Anyway, back to my story. Anybody who knows me will know that I'm a bit fragile at the moment. I lost my Mum over New Year and althought I do function generally, it doesn't take much to tip me over the edge.

So when I was in work and my mobile rang, and the caller said 'Hi its Sam from next door' my immediate thought was, 'oh no I hope Mum's ok'. Quickly erased that thought, how silly, Mum's not here any more, and in my head quickly went through a list of people - cat, dog, husband (funny but he came last on the list but probably because its unlikely that the neighbour would be ringing about him as he works an hour from home. Having said that I suppose it could be the police at the door with bad news ... ok erase that last thought from my head before I start dwelling on it.)

Anyway Sam says 'you have a black and white cat don't you?' And I went all cold, 'yeeeees?' I said. OMG I thought, my little cat. I've had Molly since she was a kitten, she's 13 now. A Millenium kitten. And she's seen me through thick and thin. I got her after my divorce from my first husband so she even pre-dated my husband.

She quickly said 'does your cat have a green collar?' Now I was able to breathe out, my cat has a red collar. Apparently a black and white cat with green collar was run over outside in the road, and obviously they wanted to tell the owners. Which was good, I would have wanted to know if it had been Molly (although I'm not sure I'd want to be contacted in work but hey, yes that's fine.)

So a day or two later, I'm stopped by another neighbour who says 'was it your cat?' and I say no, thank you , it wasn't Molly. To which she said, and I think this is quite strange. She said, 'I'd placed it (ie the dead cat) on your doorstep so you would find it when you came home'.

Does anybody else think that's distinctly odd?

I mean, its good that they wanted me to know. And I can see the reasoning behind it, maybe I would want her back to give her a kiss and bury her myself. But I'm not sure finding her dead on the doorstep is a good way to break the news to somebody that their cat has passed on.

Once the shock of it had passed I did see the funny side of it. Imagine crying, cuddling her, giving her a last kiss, digging a hole and burying her, getting over the shock and maybe spending a bit of time thinking about her and everything she means to me, what we have gone through, the good, the bad, the funny.

Then going up to bed, sad, weak, tired. And finding Molly curled up on the bed fast asleep and very much alive.

Thank goodness the dead cat didn't have a red collar. Thank goodness even more that it wasn't my lovely Mollycat. And thank goodness they didn't put her on my doorstep!

Blimey.