(Julius Thomas sees a spider as he crosses the goalline)

Okay, don’t look at me like I’m Dan Snyder.  Is it completely inappropriate and a little bit racist to compare one of the greatest tragedies in American history to the impending domination of the worst 9-0 team football has ever seen (I’m including High School squads)?

Yes.

…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand with that out of the way, let’s talk football:

Chargers

I have a great deal of respect for the talent and ability of the current Charger’s thoroughly bi-polar-in-performance (*Tony Romo and the Cowboys somberly nod in empathy) squad.  This past Sunday, the Broncos met the dominant incarnation of the San Diego Chargers… and proceeded to abuse them in whatever phase of the game they chose.

The Chargers utilized the predominant defensive strategy against Peyton: man-under 2-deep.  The Broncos quickly answered by working inside-out, hitting Julius Thomas for a 74 yard touchdown as he burnt Manti Te’o so badly, I imagine Manti looked angrily at his imaginary girlfriend and yelled, “I thought you had him!”  Of course, Manti’s a softee and has since spent the majority of the week trying to make it up to her with flowers, Shakespeare sonnets after drawing a warm bath, and foot massages.

There was some innovation to address beating the jam: Demaryius Thomas received (what I think were) his first snaps from the slot and was able to use the free release to blow past Shareece Wright for his first touchdown of the day, and perhaps the most athletic of his career.

Opposing Defensive Coordinators

I want to address this template to “beating” Peyton Manning.  As previously alluded to, this template is disrupting timing routes through applying press-man coverage on receiving options while providing two-deep-safeties over the top, and disguising pressure until the actual snap.

It’s not working, geniuses.

At over 41 points per game, maybe–just maybe–it’s time to add some creativity to your repertoire?   As is, the Denver Broncos continue to possess too many match-up options–accompanied with the most gifted executor of an offense the game has ever seen–for a defense to reasonably defend under this “template”.

Fortunately for Bronco fans, Belichick is the only remaining defensive mind with an ounce of imagination–and the accompanying pound of balls required to implement innovation in a cover-your-ass industry–left on the schedule.

…but the Chiefs defense?!?!

Much like our forefathers before us under the shield of Manifest Destiny, the Denver Broncos will favor an approach of annihilation over assimilation for these Chiefs. So let’s discuss:

Kansas City – Why are you in Missouri?

Before the game begins and Broncos-country gets divisive with Chiefs-trailer-park, let’s take a moment to garner some semblance of unity through a sing-along. Don’t worry Chiefs’ fans, the song was carefully selected in accordance with your demographics’ average educational level:

The wheels on the Chief’s bus come off in Denver,

Off in Denver,

Off in Denver.

The wheels on the Chief’s bus come off in Denver,

For the rest of the fucking season.

What They’ll Do:

The Chiefs, hilariously believing their front seven will be capable of stopping the run without assistance against base 11 personnel formations (again, that refers to 1 tight end and 1 running back), will continue to follow the broken template of stopping Peyton Manning, and, more importantly, will continue the trend of being anally-abused by Peyton Manning.  Further, their offense will be ineptly incapable of keeping anything remotely resembling “pace”.

I will credit their coaching staff.  Andy Reid has assembled a terrific staff that will have done an exemplary job scouting the Broncos tendencies.

However, the Chiefs’ heaviest strength thus far has been their pass rush… a pass rush that is rapidly slowing as opposing teams gain larger sample sizes of their blitz schemes.  And therein lies the key to the game:

Protect Peyton Manning, and it’s a blowout.

If he gets pressured, Denver wins by less.

If he gets hurt… well season’s over.

My official prediction.

More Predictions… for The Season Ahead

Last week I discussed that our perspective and measure of NFL teams can only be a reflection of their competition.  Expect this trend to continue with Denver as the Broncos move into an area of the schedule with more defensive oriented teams along with the inclement weather of winter.  The offense will likely continue to dominate without missing too much of a beat–because the variety of match-up problems and snap decision making of Peyton.  That being said, we are likely to experience the following:

- The offense may dip closer to 30 points per game

- The defense will get much more credit

People who don’t understand this relationship (i.e.: the media), will discuss the following:

- The defensive improvements are due to the team taking on Jack Del Rio’s identity

- The defensive improvements are due to the return of Von Miller, Champ Bailey, _____ insert any player that misses time here

While all of the above are certainly helpful, they’re not nearly as vital to defensive success as a crap opponent (reference the 9-0 Kansas City Chiefs).

On that note, are we SURE Gronk’s arm isn’t infected again? I think he should go check. Next week.

Alford Watch!

Time for another installment of my favorite SELU (yes, someone from SELU made it to the NFL) rookie making one of the most athletic interceptions I’ve ever seen.  For those of you actually paying attention: fine, it’s a couple weeks late, but last week I was busy napping over the Bye so lay off.

…alright, so it was a lot more impressive than the photo looks…

Free Money (Guys, last time I got EVERY single one wrong… ALL of them.  A monkey would have done better.  Please, do NOT take my “advice”:)

Colts -2.5

Falcons -1

Patriots +3

Chargers -2

Redskins +3.5

Cumulative Record: 13-21 (This is the most embarrassing display I’ve ever exhibited… naturally on the one year I decide to track it)

That’s Good Broncos – They just keep getting better: